Fashion 101---Colors

For my talk show, www.jessICAREctor.com, I have to know a little about fashion, and I want to share some fashion tips with you. We are going to begin with Colors 101.
If you were to take a look into my closet, you would see how it was organized by color, from lightest to darkest. Then within each color, it is from lightest to darkest, solids to patterns. For the summer, the shirts go from strapless to straps to short sleeved. Let me tell you how much time it saves to organize your closet this way. I know my closet so well, that when I’m looking for a shirt, I can go to exactly where it would be. It doesn’t take me 10 minutes to sift through all my tops to find one shirt. If you’re like me, you wait until the last minute to get dressed, so you don’t have this extra time to find clothes you want.
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. We look at ourselves every day, but look at yourself and ask, “What colors look good on me?” The thing is…every color looks good on you, but you just have to find the right shade of color for your skin complexion.
For instance, I have blue eyes, and I can wear almost every shade of blue, because blue brings out my eyes. Darker blue doesn’t flatter me as much as a turquoise blue does. Hold the shirt up underneath your chin to see how it looks again your skin tone. Does it wash you out? Does it make your face look white or does it bring color to your skin? Does it make you look pale or does your face brighten up? You can compare different colors against your face in order to tell the difference in how shades look against your skin.
For instance, I can wear emerald and mint green but I can’t wear lime green. I can wear dark gray but not light gray. Light or vibrant yellow looks great on me but not mustard. I think orange is the hardest color to pull off. I definitely can’t wear bright orange, but I can wear melon or peach.
And, ladies, keep this in mind, if you drastically change your hair color, you may not be able to wear the same shades that you once could. My hair went from auburn to strawberry blonde, and I had to adjust my blouses accordingly.
I am not a fan of neutral colors, but I do have a lot of white, black, and white/black polka dot shirts. The reason why I have so many tops in these colors is because I love, love, love color. I not only love color in tops, but I love color on the bottom too. I have purple, turquoise, and hot pink pants, which I gotten a lot of compliments on. You don’t have to have confidence to buy these pants, but once you wear them, you’ll gain the confidence. People tend to really love these color of pants when I wear them. Now, keep in mind, these pants are not tight, showing off curve pants. They are straight-legged slacks. They don’t need to be tight, where you are saying, “Look at me; look at me!” You just want to add some vibrancy and brightness to your wardrobe.
If you wear these pants, you don’t need something loud on top. Even if a pattern top has the same color in it that’s in the bottom, don’t wear a pattern shirt with loud pants. You need to have balance in your outfit. A shirt with a pattern would make the outfit too busy, and you don’t want that.
If you live in the comfort zone of neutrals, meaning you only wear white, blacks, and tans. Get out of this place. I know a few people who only wear these three colors. It’s time to add some color. I know it’s difficult, because you’re comfortable wearing neutrals, but color can add so much to your wardrobe. Start small. Add a yellow ring, pink earrings, or red heels. Think about it…Picture it…a white top with black pants and some red heels. How much a difference a small pair of red heels can make in an otherwise very neutral outfit. Boom! It can, now, make the whole outfit, POP! And that’s what you want. You want people to not only like your outfit, but to love it! You want people to say, “That is an awesome outfit, and you can pull it off!”
All of that can be achieved with adding a little color to any wardrobe. If you have any questions, please email me. I would love to know how you add color to your life, how you brighten your outfits with color, and how I’ve helped you. I would love to hear your feedback. Email me….I want to hear from you.

30 and Never Had a Real Date

 I have to make a confession (one that is known by so few). Although I've hung out with a few guys, I have never had a real date. It seems a little weird to say that I am 30 and have never had a real date, but I know I can't be the only woman who this describes. It just boggles my mind, for whatever reason, this can occur to no fault of the woman. Let me explain. I am a reasonably intelligent, educated, passionate woman. I am a world traveler, who enjoys laughing, adventure, and loving life. Okay, so I am picky--very picky, with high expectations and standards. I have friends who want me to lower my standards, but to me that says they don't think I deserve what I think I deserve. I refuse to settle. I don't believe in doing it, and I have known too many people who have done it in various aspects of their lives.

In high school, I was never really interested in dating. I didn't think anything of this at the time, after all, I was more interested in hanging out with my friends. I did have this mad crush on a guy who was my friend, but he (I assume because everyone knew how much I liked him) didn't like me like that, which you will soon realize just happens to be a repetitive theme in my life. A few weeks before prom, I started talking to another guy, because I really wanted a prom date. We were having problems a couple days before prom, but I didn't want to end it, because we had already paid for everything for prom. I stuck it out, and it ended right after prom.

I went to college, As college goes, you're broke, and no one has money to go out on a real date. My freshman year, I hung out with a couple of guys. One heavily pursued me, and we started going out. Just as I really started to like him, Christmas came, and he became interested in someone else. My first semester sophomore year, I met a guy, and we started going out, which consisted of hanging out at his place most of the time. We went out to eat once in our three month relationship (which to this date in my life is still my longest relationship), but I had to pay for the both of us. He, very conveniently, "had no money." Second semester sophomore year, I met a group of guys. From that moment until the end of my college years, I hung out almost exclusively with this group and never really thought about dating. Okay, I thought about dating...one of them. We hung out, wanting to start something, and decided to tell the rest of the group. Needless to say, that was the beginning and the end of us.

After college, I had another mad crush on someone I worked with. Once again, he knew (as everyone knew) how much I liked him; and again, I could only assume, he didn't feel the same, although I was hoping and praying that would change...but oh, it never did. I changed jobs a year later. Six months after I started my job, I had lunch with a guy, as friends. We went dutch. Shortly after, we started seeing each other but never really went on a date. It ended in a month. A month later, I started seeing someone else. We hung out but, again, never went out, because he was broke. It lasted a month. That was 6, yes 6, years ago. And you know what? I haven't been out with anyone since. It's not that I don't want to, because I do...really, I do. I just don't know where to meet them. Bars and clubs aren't really my scene, plus how many relationships have worked out well from them. I'm not saying they can't work out, but I don't enjoy those scenes, so why would I go there in hopes of meeting someone? I haven't worked with anyone whom I'm interested in. My friends are married and know no good single men. I've asked them. I know some good single men still exist...but, where are they?

I've been asked my whole life, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" If I knew the answer to this question, which I hate, by the way, I would try to rectify it. Lately, I've been asked, "When are you getting married?" Well...you have to have been on a real date first. What really remains a mystery to me is how I am 30 years old and have never had a real date. How is that possible? Not because I am a supermodel, but I just never thought that I would be 30 and never been on a date. Most girls go on their first date when they are 16. So, I've missed that boat...by just a few years. I've heard numerous times, "It will happen when you are not looking." Well, I haven't really been looking for the last 30 years...and it has yet to happen.

I don't think my date expectations are too high. What I mean by a real date is dinner, one where I am not paying for him. Included in the date would be a movie, a comedy show, piano bar, nice walk, or anything that shows a little imagination is a nice touch. Shoot, who am I kidding? At this point, I would go for just dinner.

Also, my guy standards used to be a lot lower. They have risen a bit throughout the years. Okay, so I can tell you my "ideal" man (but then again, can't everyone?), but I'm willing to compromise on certain things (he doesn't have to be an architect). I'm not willing to settle, which is why my previous men encounters have lasted so briefly. I'm not the kind of woman who will go out with a guy for a free meal or just for the sake of going. If there's no potential for something more, I will end it. Hence, the one month encounters mentioned above.

In the last few years, I went out with this guy, and in three years, we never went out one time.  Can you believe we never went out?  Better yet, can you believe I stayed with someone who never took me out in three years?  Well, that's over, because I deserve and want better.  Also, recently, I have really enjoyed spending time with my girlfriends (although all are married). This may hinder my man situation just a bit. My friends are no longer looking, so when we go out, we don't go to the same places we would have gone when we were single. I can't really go looking for someone by myself. Okay, so maybe I haven't aggressively pursued to rectify this as much as I could. So if you don't meet someone at work or through a friend, where does a single girl go to become a "real" date for someone? I've asked around, and no one seems to have a definitive answer. Now...there's a real mystery for you. So, guys, anyone up for dinner?

Jennyslight.org

I love doing my show for so many reasons.  It took me so long to finally figure out what I wanted to do in life.  You can read about it in my bio.  But I'll share a little of it with you.

I refuse to settle in life.  I want the things that I want, and I won't apologize for wanting them.  I feel if someone tells you that you shouldn't go after what you want, then they aren't supporting you.  If someone tells you that you can't get the job, guy, or life you want, then they don't need to be in your life.  This is easier to say pertaining to friends than to family, but if your family thinks this, then be around them only when necessary.  Or don't mention these things when you are with them, if you know they are not going to have anything positive to say.  I feel that when people say you can't get the things you want, they are saying you should settle for something else.  I refuse to settle.

When I graduated college, the first time, I had no idea what I really wanted to do in life.  I was told by many others what they thought I should do.  I went into sales, thinking maybe that's what I wanted.  Well, I didn't like it at all, maybe it was because I was trying to sell copiers and fax machines...yawn (no offense to those that do sell those items).

I went back to school for my MBA.  I did that part-time for two years, then moved to Los Angeles.  I was there a year before I moved back to finish my MBA.  I didn't know, at that time, what I wanted to do.  I decided to take classes that interested me to try and figure out what I wanted to do.  I thought, "Well, if I don't know what I want to do, I can narrow it down by knowing what I didn't want to do."

I traveled a lot of the next two years, while getting my MBA.  I also lived in Norway for 6 months.  I met people from all over the world.  That one experience helped me to learn so much about other people, cultures, and lives...and it changed my life.  I graduated with my MBA and moved back to Los Angeles.

In my two years I was there, I had a friend who had a local talk show and thought I should try it.  I thought, "I don't really have much to say," although people who know me would disagree with that.  I then thought, "Well, other people have stuff to say." I started my show and, years later, I'm still loving it.  I meet so many new and interesting people.  But more than that, I hear so many amazing stories.  Experiences and issues I never would have thought about.  There are so many things that go on in peoples’ lives that, given all the time in the world, I would never imagine.  I enjoy hearing the stories.  It allows me to learn so much and helps me to become more involved.  We, as individuals, tend to not give much thought about issues that don't directly affect us.  This show allows us to give those issues more thought...to give them more consideration...and to provide more support and understanding to those that are facing these situations.

I have learned that we have to hurt, to face decisions, to experience life, in order to help others.  When we share all that, we can help ease the life of someone else.  Peoples' lives, peoples' stories affect me.  I recently read an article in Glamour Oct 2008 issue about postpartum depression.  Jenny had given birth to son, Graham.  Jenny's twin sister, Becky, visited her and a few weeks later, Jenny took Graham in the backyard and shot him and then herself.  Becky started www.jennyslight.org in honor of her sister and Graham.  According to the article, the doctors think she has postpartum psychosis.  Becky wants to make it mandatory for new mothers to receive mental health screening to prevent this from happening to others.

What can you do?  Get involved and help build awareness.  Contact Jenny's Light at www.jennyslight.org for more information or to donate to their cause.  If you have experienced postpartum, talk about it.  We got a glimpse of it when Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise had the "discussion" about taking medication for postpartum depression.  Don't wait for a celebrity to bring it to the forefront of the news to think it's okay to discuss it.

It's always okay to talk about it.  If you don't feel comfortable talking about it with your family or friends or you don't think they would understand, join a support group.  Call your local hospitals and find out if they have any recommendations for local support groups in your area.  Having the support is the key to dealing with and getting through anything.

Postpartum depression is a topic that we don't hear enough about.  If you have not directly experienced it, people tend to really not know what it's like.  We hear things like, ";I can't get out of bed," or "Being a mother is not what I thought it would be."  To most people who haven't been directly affected by postpartum depression, we might think we've thought how we can't get out of bed.  We wouldn't think thoughts like this would lead to killing yourself or your child.

Spreading the word and getting the information out about issues like this is important.  It's nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about.  The more we talk about our issues, the more aware we make people, the more we help others.  Don't you want to help others who may be experiencing the same symptoms you have/had.  For those of you who have recovered from postpartum depression, talk, talk, talk.  Let those who are currently experiencing it to know that they, too, can make it through and recover.  Let them know it's okay to feel the way they are feeling, that they will get better, and, most importantly, you are there for them.  There's nothing better to know that someone has been through the same thing you are going through, dealt with it, and got better.  Just to be able to talk with someone...makes all the difference in the world.  I know.

Although I've never had postpartum, I've learned that support, an ear, and a friend can get you through anything...and everything.  I hope this inspires you to, no matter what you've been through, you take the time to help someone else going through a similar issue or be a little more understanding when someone else is going through another experience.  Because, who knows, if you grew up the way they did, had the same experiences they had, and were at the same place as they are...you might likely do the exact same thing as they.  So, next time, you judge, think...that could be you, and that person is really not that different than you.

Talk, talk, talk, especially if it's a topic you "shouldn't" talk about...that's even more reason to discuss it...and spread the word and give hope to the world!

Habits and The Hangover

I started wondering how we establish out habits. Take me for instance....I have some habits, that even I stop them for a short period of time, sooner or later, they always find me again.  One habit I've had since I can remember is biting my nails.  Yes, I am a nail biter....and not it's not because I'm nervous.  People tend to think all people who bite their nails are nervous.  I'm not, because I can be anywhere doing anything, and I bite them.  I've actually gotten better at it.  I don't bite them if they are long.  I only gnaw on them if they are short.  Oh, and usually, I also bite on the skin around the nails.  I know it sounds gross, but there are definitely worse habits.  Oh, I can break this habit for a while, if I paint my nails.  So, for the most part, my nails are ALWAYS painted.  The thing that really sucks is that when you bite your nails, repetitively, and too much they become “nubs” or “nubbins”;, as I like to call them, to the point they just hurt.  Oh another habit of fine, is I'm a little obsessed with nail files.  I think this stems from me being a nail biter.  I ALWAYS have to have a nail file around.  If my nail is a little uneven, and I don't have a file around, I will end up biting my nail until it is even, hence, the need for a nail file...so I don't bite them.  I always carry at least two files in my purse, just to make sure....just like I always have Chapstick in my purse.  Oh, that's another habit of mine...I have to put on Chapstick before going to bed and keep a tube by my bed.  I used to use Blistex til a friend of mine told me that they put something in Blistex, so people become addicted to it.  I stopped using it then, but now I just substitute it for Chapstick.  I need to have a tube in my purse. Even if I'm watching a sporting event and not taking my purse, I put my Chapstick in my pocket.  Isn't it funny how when you spend time with people, you tend to start saying things they say?  Well, I've picked up some sayings that just bug the heck out of my sister.  But what's really funny, is she is the only one who realizes I say these things.  When telling a story about "My friend, Marc."  She tells me she knows that Marc is my friend and I don't need to say, "My friend..."  The funny thing is I say, "My friend," when I'm talking about any one of my friends.  I never just say their name.  I have no idea why this is....I don't even know where I got this from.  As a matter of fact, I don't know where I got any of my sayings from.  When I'm really excited about something, I tend to repeat it three times.  For instance I would say, “Oh my gosh, did you hear that?  Did you hear what they said?  Oh my gosh, that's so great, did you hear that?”  My sister says, "I heard you all three times you said it."  I never even realize I'm saying it three times.  I finally told her that I say things I'm really excited about three times, because I know how much satisfaction she gets from saying, "I heard you all three times you said it"  So, I'm really doing it for her satisfaction.  Another thing of late that I say is, "I'm just saying... "  I could be talking about how much I liked the movie, The Hangover.  Heavily laughing, I was telling my mom and my sister about the part where they are in the desert and the Asian man jumps out of the trunk, swinging a crow bar, hitting the guys in the face.  I say, "As he jumps out of the trunk swinging, he is naked...and, I'm sorry, so very small."  I'm not a perv in any way, but I was having problems seeing it.  I was laughing so hard, my mom and sister couldn't really understand me.  I looked up and they had dumbfounded looks on their faces, which were saying, "I guess you had to be there."  So I reply, "I'm just saying...it was hilarious.  Guess you have to see it."  By the way, I thought The Hangover would be such a guy movie.  A guy I know said if I didn't like it, he would give me the money I paid to get into the movie.  In that case, I had to see it.  And dang it, I wasn't going to get my money from him....because it is so not a guy's movie.  It was so much funnier than I thought it was going to be.  Keep in mind, Something About Mary is not my style of comedy, which people said The Hangover was like...which it's not.  My type of comedy is When Harry Met Sally.  I'm a person who doesn't really laugh out loud.  If I find something funny, I'll say to myself, “Oh that's funny.”  But I just don't find things sooo funny that it's necessary to laugh out loud.  Well, there are a few times when that's not the case…any random episode of Friends.  I just love that show. I can watch the same episode of that show, just like When Harry Met Sally, several times and still laugh out loud.  Like the episode when Ross, along with Rachel and Chandler, are moving a sofa up the stairs, and Ross keeps saying, "Pivot... pivot...pivot."  I say this to others when I'm moving furniture...it's too classic.  Or the episode when Rachel is about to give birth and Ross keeps yelling at her.  She tells him to shut up.  Then he says, “Push,” and she head butts him. I laughed so long and hard at that one...I'm laughing even now about it.  So during The Hangover, in the part I previously mentioned about the Asian guy getting out of the car hitting the guys with a crow bar.  I not only laughed out loud.  I laughed so long and hard, I couldn't stop laughing...and then I started thinking to myself, “Jessica, you're embarrassing yourself, you're laughing so hard.”  The funny thing is, I'm laughing just thinking about the scene.  That's when you know a movie is really funny!  Habits are funny things too...when you think about how they came to be or how you don't even know how they came to be.  Well, we all have them, nubbins or not. Sometimes you just have to laugh about them.  Now, wouldn't that be a great habit....the habit of laughing too much. We all can use to have that as our habit : )

Don't We All Just Love Cramps??!!

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't want to get out of bed?  Well, I rarely have them, but today was definitely one of those days.  Well, for the past few weeks, I've been going to bed really late, any where from 5 to 7 in the morning.  I've been so busy doing things to begin my new business.  For those of you who don't know, my business is my online video talk show, where real people share real life experiences in order to make a difference and change the world.  I want the show to expand and grow beyond where it is, so it can help even more people.  I decided to do a business plan and look for investors.  My first draft of my plan took several months.  Then I went and had two executives revise it.  The next draft took me several more months.  So, I was spending the last few weeks, about 10-12 hours a day finishing it.  Then I had it reviewed again, and the executive said I'm ready for investors.  I was soooo excited, because I thought I might have to get it reviewed about two more times before I was ready for investors.

Anyways, last night I was extremely tired, for some reason, which doesn't make sense seeing I got about 12 hours of sleep the night before.  I went to bed at 1230am, which is very early for me.  My body was worn down though.  Now, I'm one of those people...I can sleep any time and any where.  I never have problems sleeping, and means of transportation tends to put me to sleep.

Several years ago, my dad drove me from Los Angeles back to Texas.  We drove straight through.  Better yet, he drove straight through, and I literally slept the whole way.  The only time I was awake is when we stopped to eat.  When we would get back into the car, he would try to talk to me, and I would fall asleep before he finished the conversation.

So, last night, I fell asleep easily, but I had major problems staying asleep.  I woke up about 8 times throughout the night.  I hate waking up throughout the night.  And it really says something to me, if I'm not able to stay asleep.  Because I also rarely have problems staying asleep...unless I have to unexpectedly use the bathroom.  Even then, I will go back to sleep until I just can't hold it any more.  I kept going back to sleep, after constantly waking up, but it's annoying to wake up that many times.  I kept looking at the clock, wondering why I couldn't stay asleep and why I kept waking up.  Oh and each time I went back to sleep, I had a different dream...strange dreams, which was just weird itself.

When I finally woke up for the day, I had a massive headache.  I have awesome off brand extra strength headache medicine that works quickly.  I hate having to rely on it, so I try not to take it until after I have given it some time to disappear on its own.  I lied in bed for what seemed like a while, when in reality it was probably only a few minutes.  I couldn't take the pain any longer, reached over on a shelf, and took two headache pills.  I lied a few more minutes and by the time I stood the headache was gone.  It is the best headache medicine I've every taken.

I go about my day, but I feel tired.  I think these past two days, I've gotten too much sleep.  When I was going to bed at 5 or 7am, I was getting about 7 hours of sleep.  Now, I'm getting about 12.  I like to have 10, because I feel energized but not too tired as I go about my day.  I hate getting 8 hours of sleep.  I know that's the norm, but to me, it feels like I've interrupted my REM sleep when I sleep for 8 hours.

As I go about my day, I feel okay.  Later, I'm eating some raisins I had packed before leaving.  As, I'm eating them, something my dad says, plays over and over in my head, "Don't eat too many of them, because for me, they act like prunes." Now I remember one time when I ate prunes, not knowing, I kept eating them til I was full, not knowing the effect they would have on my body.  I ate about three serving of raisins yesterday and felt fine.  So, when my dad told me this about the raisins I said, "They don't do that to me."

Well, soon I started cramping very badly.  It's not that time of the month, but I can't figure out why I'm cramping.  Of course I went to the bathroom, three times within three hours, which I never do.  The cramps are still present.  Two hours later, I realize, it may be due to the raisins.  I never knew raisins could make me cramp, but maybe they can...well, I'm hoping it's the raisins, and the cramps will go away by tomorrow, because they suck!

Right now, they feel like someone keeps punching me not only on both sides of my stomach but on my bikini line, where your leg meets your hip.  It's like you want to ball up and just never move.  I'm lucky, because I rarely get cramps, when it's that time of the month.  The problem is when I do get them, they are horrible ones....where they are so bad, that I can't move at times, but they only last for one day.  I have to breath deeply and tell myself, "Pain is only temporarily," or "They will pass, they will pass, it's only a few minutes," even though those minutes seems like several hours of gut wrenching kicks to the stomach...never knowing when they will end.

These cramps make me not want to move, get up, or even eat....which sounds weird, but I love food...and I eat about every 2 or 3 hours.  I have a friend who gets them so badly, she can't move, she is sensitive to light, and basically stays in bed all day, for several days.  Now, mine aren't that bad, thank goodness.

For those of you who deal with cramps, every month for several days, my heart goes out to you, because I know I am one of the lucky ones.  I just wonder how you deal with it every month, not that you have much of a choice, though.  You'll have to email me with your cramp stories...that way I won't feel so bad when I get them : )

Anyways, today, starting with my horrible sleeping last night to my major headache to my cramps, was one of those days where I would have rather stayed in bed...chilling, watching T.V. or my favorite movie, When Harry Met Sally, waiting for the day to pass until tomorrow.  But I didn't...and I must say I would rather have cramps any day over my throat hurting...that's the worst kind of sick, where I can eat or even swallow.  So, it can always be worse...and tomorrow is another day...oh, yeah, and pain is only temporary...and will pass, even in the worst kicking in the stomach moments.

Running Into Wal-Mart

Do you ever plan on just running to Wal-Mart and somehow, some way it always takes longer than you expect?  Well, not even that I had to be somewhere immediately after my trip, but it's just the fact that I thought I could run into Wal-Mart, yes, Wal-Mart of all places, and it took an hour.

Okay, so granted part of it was absolutely my fault.  I've been told a time or two that I'm somewhat neurotic.  I'll let you decide that for yourself over the course of my blogs.  I went to Wal-Mart for just a few things...I needed eyeliner, mascara, dental floss, and windshield wipers.  The eyeliner and mascara are in the same place.  So the dental floss and wipers would take a few minutes.  With the dental floss, I already knew what kind I would get.  There are some things, that I always get the exact same kind of...same brand, same scent/flavor, same everything.  Dental floss happens to be one of them....Reach, mint, waxed.  Easy enough.

Well, the eyeliner and mascara proved to take some time.  I'm definitely not brand specific when it comes to these.  There are certain aspects of each that I like.  Liner, I tend to like the wooden, what do you call it?  The wooden outside and not the plastic?  With the wooden outside, the inside, the liner part tend to get sharper, which I like.  Now, mascara I'm quite picky on.  It's so difficult to find a good mascara, like a good pair of jeans. Why is it so rare to find a good pair of jeans or a good shade of lip gloss. When I do find the ones I like, they tend to get discontinued.  Welcome to my world!  You'll find that as a repetitive theme in my life.  Well, I'm trying to find mascara that I want, but I just hate to pay over a certain price for it.  I realize on some levels that doesn't make much since, since if you like something, the two dollar difference shouldn't really make that big of a difference.  But to me, a sometimes neurotic person, it does..depending on the item.  There are some items, that I'm just quite impartial to...it depends more on the price, which to me makes oh-so-perfect sense.

Anyways, so I'm basically price shopping between the three aisles of makeup for mascara and liner.  I actually bought some green liner not that long ago, but it's too green.  I wanted more of a dark green.  The green I bought makes my eyes say,  "Oh, here comes some green eyeliner...oh and there I finally see the eyes."  So I needed a darker more subtle green.  I really wanted to buy this Almay grayish blue liner, my favorite color, but as my world would have it, they no longer sell it.  I found a better shade of green for me but had yet to find what I was looking for with my grayish blue.

Then I found two other shades, that I basically settled on...and by the way, I just absolutely hate settling, even on small things like this.  Then before I found my mascara, I got stuck looking at lip gloss.  Okay, so this is definitely a weak point with me. I love, absolutely love, lip gloss.  I have a makeup bag in my purse, and it is filled with only lip gloss.  I believe lip gloss can make or break an outfit, just like shoes or accessories.

So, once again, there's a shade of lip gloss, by Rimmel, that I just love.  Of course, I've had it so long that the color's name has faded so much I can't even make out a letter, let alone the word.  I'm basically going on the color in the container...which I haven't found at three stores I've looked for it.  I'm assuming, once again, they've discontinued it.  I've even bought shades that seem relatively close to it, to get home and put it on, for the color to be oh-so-not even close to it.  Some would also say I get a little obsessed.  To me, this is not obsessive, this is just really liking something and not willing to give up on the possibilities of it existing.

Okay, so one day, I may have to give up on it, but not quite yet.  I did, however, find another shade, Snog, of Rimmel lip gloss that I needed because I was out of the one I had.  Lo and behold, they actually still make that color.  Yeah for me!  After all of this, I still had to find mascara.  I went out on a limb and bought mascara that I've never tried.  I actually had a coupon for it, and that's why I bought it.

I'm not afraid to say that I use coupons.  Gosh, I've saved so much money over the past few years investing a few minutes in coupon clipping.  I just make sure I don't buy things that I wouldn't already buy, because then that would actually mean I'm just spending money I wouldn't already spend, which then doesn't save me money at all.

Anyways, I finally got those things and proceeded to buy wind shied wipers.  Now, I'm one of the lucky few who have a part-time mechanic in my dad.  Well, he is a self-taught mechanic...and he would never claim that title, but he does all the car maintenance that is possible...oh, and saves me a ton of money.  He changes my oil, airs my tires, checks fluids, etc.  Today, he was my windshield wiper changer.  I always buy the necessary car parts for my personal mechanic, so I'm quite familiar with what I need to do.  The problem is I always call to make sure I'm getting the right thing, because one time I didn't.

The one time I didn't I bought the wrong oil filter.  The sad thing is I had bought an oil filter for the same car before.  When I bought it, I thought, "I don't remember it being this one," but I'd only bought it one time before, because the car was relatively new.  My dad put that filter on and then realized it was the wrong one when he put the old filter in the box of the new filter, and it was a different size.  I had to go buy another filter, and it took my dad 30 minutes just to get the wrong filter off, because it was made for a sports car and was tighter on my car.

Anyways, I called my dad just to ask which brand was better Michelin or Rain X.  I went with Michelin, because they are both good, and it was less expensive.  So, now I'm thinking that I'm almost out of here.  I find I get a little frustrated at the bigger Wal-Marts, when I'm "running in."  There are just so many people, most of them are not in a hurry, so they are going at a normal rate, while I find myself racing in a zig zag motion in and out of people to try and quickly get in and out of there.

I scan all the check out lines. There are no self check outs on the end of the store where I am.  If there were, I would have definitely used one of them.  I tend to use them, because I find them easier and quicker than waiting in line, although it may not always be the case.  I guess part of it is, because it depends on my quickness and not someone else's.

I find the line that I think would be the quickest and most efficient for me.  I proceed to the check out line with about 8 items.  There was one person in front of me with about 100 items, but the 10 items or less line had 5 people.  I thought this line would be quicker.  Well, the lady bought some clothes that didn't have a SKU on them.  The cashier manually put the SKU in twice, and it wouldn't take it any more.  The manager came over to try and help, and this is when I switched lines to the 10 items or less.  Another lady in line even suggested I go to the 10 items or less line.

When I walk the five feet over to the line, since it was the line next to the one I was in, three more people got in line in front of me.  If I would've stayed in my first line, I would have been done before I even got to the front of the line.  Why does that always seem to happen?  One line takes what seems like forever, so you switch lines, to the wrong line that seems to take forever?  I finally leave more than an hour after arriving, when this trip was supposed to take about 15 minutes.

So next time, you think you can just run into Wal-Mart, you might wanna think again.  Oh, and forget about running into Wal-Mart if you have kids.  I once thought I could do that with my nephew, who was pretty self-sufficient at 8 years old.  Well, I was trying to be quick, and he had a completely different idea.  He wanted to look around and lolligag...the definition of quick to an 8 year old doesn't exist.  He thinks it means to take two steps every two minutes and only look at every item in the aisle, because he has to handle, pick up, hold everything...even if it would never interest an 8 year old boy.

Kids are funny...and my idea is to just forget about going to Wal-Mart with more than one kid.  You moms and dads are amazing, because you have no choice but to take the kids...guess you're not running in anywhere then?!

I get home, and my mechanic dad has problems getting the old wipers off my car.  He finally gets the one off the driver side, but then can't get the new one to click into place.  Although it won't come off, it doesn't click.  My dad keeps reading and re-reading the directions, knowing the wiper won't come off, but can't let it be, because it's not clicking.  If there's any wonder why I might be a tad neurotic, I get it from my dad, just in case it wasn't obvious.  I suggest taking my defective blade back to Wal-Mart, although I really don't want to.  My dad is finally convinced the wiper really is attached and not going anywhere...that it really won't fall off.  And tell me not to take it back.

Well, all of this was for me to get my state inspection, since I am a week late on when mine expired.  Now, car shops are known to take so long.  I'm prepared for my being at the state inspection place for a while.  I've been to car places several times in my drivers license career, and I've never gotten out quickly.  I get to the state inspection place.  Now something can be said for a car place that is efficient, quick and gives me advice for my car when I'm leaving.  He told me FYI I need point 3 brake fluid.  Well, I thought it was point 3, but as my dad corrected me when I relayed the message, it's DOT 3.

So, there's a little more for me to still learn about cars...If you can believe it, I'm in and out in 12 minutes.  It took me longer to stand in the first line in Wal-Mart.  Actually it took me longer to get out of the makeup aisle at Wal-Mart.  I'll try and remember this when I'm "running into Wal-Mart."  Actually, I'll probably forget and have all this happen to me again. Then again, it's Jessica's World, and you just never know what's going to happen there : )

The Two Minute Cry

Do you ever have those moments? Do you ever have those days? Do you ever have those nights? Weeks? Or months? The ones where it feels like nothing can go right…that no matter what you do, no matter what you try, it doesn’t seem to get any better. Do you think, “When am I going to find my dream career? My wish guy (my saying for the guy I wish I had)? Or my dream?” or “When is everything I’ve worked so long and hard for going to finally pay off?” or “When have all I sacrificed going to turn my wants into my reality?”

Well, for me, as I’m sure for many others, when all of these times and questions keep happening, they eventually lead to a crying session. I had one of these last night….Don’t get me wrong, they don’t happen often, and they shouldn’t. I was in the shower, which is where mine always happen (because I tend to do most of my deep thinking in the shower), when all of sudden the emotions took control.

I cried for what seemed like about 15 minutes, when it was only two minutes. I asked myself questions like, “When are my sacrifices going to pay off.” “Why can’t I find a good guy?” and “Why don’t I have the career that I want, yet?” My two-minute cries ten tend to involve the same questions, because, after all, these are the things that continuously probe my mind.

I feel that I’ve made sacrifices in my life in order for me to have the dream career that I want. I could have a really great job, making a good amount of money, but really not following my passion. In doing that, I could have had the opportunity to meet more men than I currently do. I could have had a career, maybe not the one I truly want, but I would be more financially stable…..But would I have be slowly dying at a career that I really don’t enjoy?

After about two minutes (okay, if it’s really bad, you can give yourself 2 ½ minutes) of crying about whatever issues are going on in your life, you need to snap yourself out of it. If you don’t, the crying session, can and likely will, last for hours, if you let it.

How do you talk yourself out of it? Well, start thinking of things in your life that you enjoy, like, and love. I started thinking of how I just achieved one of my major accomplishments, finishing my business plan. Now, for those of you who have never done a business plan, it is so much more time consuming and difficult than you might think. It takes time, patience, and determination. You have to be diligent and able to research, research, and research. It took me three months to finish, and then I got it revised. It took me another three months to finish it and have it ready for investors, which brings me to my next point.

My next thought in the shower, to talk myself out of the two-minute cry, is that I am going to get investors for my company. It may take me more time than I originally thought, but I KNOW it will happen. I just keep thinking positive thoughts, I will get money from investors, and I will find the man of my dreams. I know people will say it won’t happen, but I have full confidence in it all. Believing in yourself is all you need to get you through the two-minute cry or really anything in life. Just believe in what you are doing and yourself!

When you feel the two-minute cry coming on, it’s okay. Let it out, let it go. Don’t worry about holding it all in, because if you do, sooner or later, it will happen anyways. So cry, cry, cry…for two minutes. When two minutes is up, snap out of it. Think of all of the good things in your life…your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends, your career….whatever it is that is going well in your life. No one has a perfect life. Remember yours can always be worse, because someone right now is living a worse life than you, and they still manage to get up each and every day. Remain positive and put out into the world, what you want to get.

A two-minute cry can help to rejuvenate yourself, your soul, and your mind. Keep the cry to a minimum, don’t let it gain control of you, or you will lose control….and make sure you don’t have the two-minute cry too often. Also, keep in mind, what you put out into the world is what the world is giving back to you. The more negative thoughts you think, the more negative things that happen to you. So, keep the positive thoughts flowing, keep believing in yourself, and things will go your way. All the questions that led up to the two-minute cry, will soon disappear…and the only time you’ll be shedding tears are happy tears, because all your dreams have come true.

Meanies??!!

I just don't understand it, why do people feel it necessary to be mean? I called a lady the other day trying to do business with the online company she works for. She did not seem eager to talk to me. Then when I started asking her questions, she was ugly to me. She ended up telling me maybe their website wasn't the best place for me to advertise. Then when I asked about nationally advertising with her company, she actually said to me, "Well, that's for people who actually have $10,000 a month."

I'm sorry, did she some how get a hold of my bank account information? How the heck does she know how much money I have. I could be a billionaire for all she knows. Then I ask her what are the average click thru rates on the ads on their site. She said she doesn't have that information. I said, "Local vendors have to know what their click thru rates are." She said that's their information and wouldn't give it to me. I said, "I'm not asking for their specific information, I'm asking for the average." She said she doesn't have it. I said, "It's hard for me to believe a reputable, well-known company like them wouldn't have it." She said no they don't keep track of that. I said okay, bye and hung up. Why would a person that I'm wanting to do business with act like that? I immediately emailed a lady who sent her to me and ask to speak with a different local rep. I refused to do business with someone who treated me that way. Oh and by the way, the next lady I spoke to said they do keep track of that information, and she had no problem giving it to me.

Then I run into someone I know today and he says to me, "Oh great look who it is," in a sarcastic tone. I see this person five days a week, and I don't understand why he couldn't just say, "Hi" and leave it at that?

Why do people think they need to be mean or ugly? It doesn't make anyone feel good to be treated that way. It only makes the mean person look worse in my eyes. Didn't their moms teach them, "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all?" I mean, after all, we all have to live in this world together, why not make it as easy and fun as possible?