The Pill Popping Woman Next Door

“Are you on pills,” a guy asked me the other day.

“I’m sorry,” I said, not knowing what he meant.

“These ladies (as he pointed to the ladies sitting next to him) want to know if you are on pills,” he said.

I look at the ladies trying to register in my mind what the man is saying. “You are so friendly and upbeat, we thought maybe you were on pills,” one lady says.

All of a sudden it dawns on me…pills? Oh those kind of pills. “No. This is au naturale. I naturally have a lot of energy. I even try to stay away from caffeine. I didn’t even know what you were talking about when you asked me that, if that gives you any indication that I’m not on them,” I said knowing how naïve I must sound.

With addiction to painkillers now considered a national crisis, “pill popping” is no more a taboo subject. “Prescription drugs are the second most commonly abused category of drugs, behind marijuana and ahead of cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine and other drugs,” according to presciption-drug-abuse.org.

Although “Prescription drug abuse surged 400 percent in the past decade,” according to csmonitor.com, it isn’t as widely discussed as alcohol or other drug abuse. This type of addiction may be seen as safer than other types of drug use, but like recent celebrity deaths, Michael Jackson or Anny Nichole Smith, it can have just as fatal consequences.

Prescription pill addiction tends to not have the same stigma associated with it that their counterpart addicted drugs too.
Think of the image you have when you think of someone addicted to meth or heroin. You might see someone strung out, with rotted teeth or lesions on her face. Prescription pill abuse is easier to hide to the outsider. She might be a stay-at-home mom that lives next door to you, who wears those cute pink trendy sweat suits and always looks so stylish. She isn’t the strung out rooted teeth woman. And she doesn’t see herself that way either.

She never intended to get addicted. She was having back pain after a car wreck. She started taking the pills to alleviate that suffering. Then three months passed. Another six months passed. She is still taking them, but now she is taking them more often because the effects don’t last as long. In a few more months she will take more of them at once. Soon, she will take even more of them and more often.

These prescription drugs are more accessible than other drugs too. All she has to do is go back to her doctor to get more. She makes an appointment, just like everyone else, to her family care practitioner. She doesn’t have to go to a drug dealer. Her doctor gives them to her legally. In her mind, it’s not the same.

And how will all of this affect her kids? Will they start having to be the mom in the house or will they want to try the pills themselves? If parents lead by example, then those are just a few questions this stay-at-home mom will have to answer and resolve within herself.

In the meantime, there are plenty of places where she can get the help she needs. If she does it for herself, her kids, her spouse, or her future…whatever the reason, she just needs to take that step and start somewhere to get back to who she used to be. Because being addicted to pills is not the person she is or wants to be. It’s never too late!

You can always look online for resources or start with www.prescription-drug-abuse.org/ for more information.

Looking for Romance

No matter how romantic a guy is, women always want more. Why is it that men have the pressure of being romantic? Think of Valentine’s Day. Who is usually responsible for planning out the day and making sure there is some romance involved? Men. I don’t know any couple where the woman is in charge of this. It’s up to the men to pull through, be creative and most importantly, be romantic.

Women, if you want your men to be more romantic, maybe you should help him out on occasions and show him how it’s done.

1. Leave little notes. They don’t have to be anything profound, but leave a post-it in his briefcase or on the mirror so he sees it when he goes into the bathroom in the morning. Say, “I’m thinking of you” or “Have a great day.” Just a little something to put a smile on his face and start his day off right. Or it can be X-rated, so he can look forward to it when he gets home.
2. Better yet get him a card. I love cards, especially if there is no special occasion, and it’s just for the heck of it. Getting a card out of the blue is sure to brighten anyone’s mood. Leave it on his car’s dashboard, so he gets it before arriving to work.
3. Buy him tickets. Find his favorite sports team, concert, movie or comedy show. What guy isn’t going to run out and watch one of the most anticipated sequels, Hangover 2? Get him tickets and even better, tell him to invite his best friend. Give him a night out for just the guys. He’ll love you for this one.
4. Surprise him. What’s his favorite sport to play or hobby? Does he play golf? Get him a tee time or new golf balls. Is he a sci-fi nut? Purchase tickets to the sci -fi convention coming to town. Take an interest in what he likes to do, and he will reciprocate the favor.
5. In the house. Of course you can always be more romantic around the house. Wear only your apron and a favorite pair of high heels to cook his favorite meal, knowing he will be home any minute, while you’re still in the kitchen. Create the rose petal path to the bedroom that leads to the bed full of petals. Step out of your comfort zone and dance sexy for him. Put on his favorite lingerie or costume to make his fantasies come true.

Guys may not like to admit it, but they enjoy a little romance in their lives. They shouldn’t be the only ones enticing. They will appreciate and enjoy the effort you make. Not that you need a reason to be romantic with you guy, but you will likely get it tenfold back. If you are like me, you will just enjoy watching the expression on his face…and that will make it all worth it.

Off the Beaten Path

I’ve been fortunate to travel around the world, from South Africa to Ireland, Scotland, Norway, and Prague among others. When most of us travel, we tend to stick with the tourist things to do, sites to see, landmarks, and museums. Do you ever consider doing something besides that or going somewhere that is not in one of those travel books?
Branch out. Some of the most fascinating places I’ve “happened upon” are not found in those books. They aren’t known by foreigners as “must sees,” but they just might be more interesting then the tourist sites.

So, how do you find these little known places?

1. Ask a local. It might sound strange or you may feel awkward, but most of the time, people are more than willing to help you if you ask politely. Yes, even though the French are not known for their kindness, they are actually quite nice. You need to respect them and look at it from their perspective. If they were to come here, you would expect them to speak English to you not French. So, when you go there, if you don’t know any French, find out a few key French phrases like, “Hi, how are you?” or “Can you please help me?” or “Hi, do you speak English?” They will know you are trying and be more willing to help you.
2. Stay in a hostel. You don’t have to stay there, because you are broke. A hostel gives you a great chance to meet other travelers who can tell you some of the best places to see or places to go. A lot of them are students or backpackers who have done extensive research before their trip. They know the places you must hit before leaving.
3. Research. There are some great blogs and websites that are designed by individuals and not travel magazines. Do a Google search for (your) destination websites. Country natives create their own sites in order to help travelers. Many of these sites not only provide information on where you must go but also the best method for travel and cost of different activities.
4. Contact local tourist information. Many tourists don’t take advantage of the city’s tourist information spot. They not only tell you the main attractions, but they give you other not so touristy spots and hours of operation, if needed. They will know more than your hotel on what to do off the beaten path and the best transportation options. They will also know smaller companies who offer similar excursions for a more economical rate.
5. Dine at the mom and pop restaurant and visit your local café. All the places I’ve traveled to, I’ve gone to small restaurants. I want to try the traditional food of the locals. Remember in Europe, it’s not uncommon to spend three hours for a meal. They relax and enjoy their meals as opposed to rushing to eat just to go somewhere else. Also cafes in Europe are different than coffee shops you may know. Even if you are not a big coffee drinker, these are a “must visit.” Have a pastry or hot tea. They are typically full of people and opportunities to ask them the little known places that every tourist must visit.

Taking advantage of the path many tourists don’t may provide you with the most thrilling experience of your whole trip. You might happen upon a romantic view, a historical building, or a fascinating place you would have never found on your own. The opportunities to find these places exist before you arrive as well as during your trip there. Make sure you don’t let them pass you by, because these off beaten paths are chances you don’t want to miss…they might just be the ones you really came to see.

HOW TO IMPRESS AT AN INTERVIEW

You have done the work. You spent countless hours sending out resumes and finally landed the necessary interview. Now you want to make a good first impression at your interview. What exactly constitutes a good first impression?

1. Dress appropriately. Even in today’s more casual offices, you should always wear a suit to an interview. If your suit is from the 90’s, go out and buy a new suit. Styles have changed so much, it’s time to update your wardrobe. This could be the difference between your getting the job and them not taking you seriously.

2. Be early. Respect their time. If you are on time, then you are late. So, be early but not too early. What’s too early? More than ten minutes is considered too early. You don’t want them thinking you have all the time in the world and nothing going on in your life. If you arrive earlier than ten minutes, sit in your car and relax until you need to go inside.

3. Do your research. There is nothing that will make you look less prepared, then the interviewer asking you a question about his company or industry and you not knowing what he is talking about. You can entice him by providing this information, while answering a question, without having to be led to it, which will make you appear knowledgeable. You also need to have questions that you will also ask the interviewer at the end. So think of these ahead of time.

4. Be polite to the receptionist. She is your first contact with the company, so smile and be courteous. You never know who she is. She could be filling in for the receptionist who is at lunch and might be the one interviewing you. Or she could be related to someone who works there. Either way, she talks to other people at the company, and you want her to say only good things about you.

5. Have a good handshake. There is nothing worse than meeting someone who doesn’t know how to properly shake another person’s hand. It infuriates me, even in my personal life, when I meet someone, and she gives me the limp or finger handshake. It tells a lot about a person’s personality. It is difficult for the other person to warm up to you once he is off put by your handshake. Make sure you have a firm, confidence handshake. If you don’t know if yours measures up, practice with a friend.

Most of us are nervous going to a job interview. We want to present our best to who could be our future employer. In order to
calm your nerves, have the above tips mastered. You will be in front of the competition, and well on your way to landing that job you’ve dreamed about for so long.

Looking Good, Feeling Good

We all have those days where we just don’t feel like we look that great. Maybe our hair screams “Out of control” or you aren’t in the mood the wear the same makeup again. Even though you have 15 different shades of eyeshadow, it seems like you wear them over and over again. Your skin my feel too dry or you know the unmistakable under the skin blemish is about to appear. When you look better, you feel better.

You can go get your hair done, enjoy a medi/pedi, or get that much needed massage. You can also do a little retail therapy. But let’s face it there is no such thing as “a little” retail therapy, and this is probably the worst time for you to go shopping. Once you start, you have to hit every one of your favorite stores, “just to look.” Then ten stores later, you leave with ten different bags. And the next month wonder why your credit card bill is so high.

I’m not suggesting you go to the spa or into credit card debt to feel better. Looking better to feel better doesn’t have to cost much money. Here are some tips:

1. No matter how you feel or what you are doing today, get dressed. There are days when you feel lazy and just want to lounge around the house. That is understandable, but you still need to make the effort to get dressed. Being in your sleep attire at 6 p.m. doesn’t help the mood. Getting dressed will make you feel more productive then staying in your sleepwear, and that productivity changes your outlook.

2. Build your self-confidence. Look in the mirror and tell yourself what you like about you. This may sound cheesy, but we all forget what makes us who we are. Think about your positive attributes. Sometimes we need to reiterate to ourselves what makes us unique or what people like about us and why they enjoy our company.

3. Smile. It’s truly amazing the affect smiling can have on our mood and our perception. You know that saying it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Well, sometimes, you have to consciously make the effort to smile, especially when you are in one of those moods. Think of something funny you saw on TV, a joke, or sing your favorite song. Or think of that banter you have with a friend and how you actually enjoy it or how you fell at the store the other day. You will be genuinely smiling in no time.

4. Instead of shopping, go inside your closet. Look at all the clothes you already have. We tend to have our go-to shirt, pants, or look. How about creating another favorite outfit? What about that black and white shirt that you always wear with jeans or black pants. Pair it up with that red skirt.

Accessorize your outfit to tie in the colors. Put on those red dangle earrings and red heels. Or wear the black slacks but wear that turquoise belt and shoes. Spice up the same outfit by adding a splash of color, which will brighten any mood.

Wear those open toed “rocker” shoes that zip at the angle with your favorite off the shoulder blouse. Create a new look and know that no matter where you wear it, you will be dressed in style.

5. Make your own at home spa treatment. You can find foot scrub and lotion along with the necessary tools at a variety of drug and beauty stores. Also pick up facial supplies and your nail polish color. You are making a day of it. It may not be the same as having someone else rub your feet, but even when you do the job yourself, your feet reap the benefits.

6. Contact your best friend. There is nothing that a conversation with your best friend can’t make better. You don’t have to discuss anything in depth, just the sound of her voice will make you happier.

7. Write down five things you are grateful for. This can become a daily habit for you. It puts the stresses of daily life into perspective, when you realize all that you have and what really matters to you.

We all want to look our best everyday, but some days we just aren’t feeling it. These simple ways can get you looking and feeling good no matter your mood. When you change your perspective or start thinking more positively, your outlook will change. When that happens, you will know that even if your hair is too frizzy today or your skin isn’t feeling up to par that you do, in fact, look good. And when we look good, we feel good!

Dying To Fight

This morning as I drove back from taking my ten-year-old nephew to school, something unmistakably caught my attention. Granted it was earlier than when I’m used to being up and around, but what I heard stopped me in my mid-thinking tracks.

In Fort Worth, a teenager died from fighting during school. On Friday, apparently the 15-year-old and his 16-year-old fighting opponent left between classes and went directly across from the school to hash out their differences.

Due to the teenager having breathing problems or possible cardiac arrest, the paramedics were called. They took the student to an area hospital, where he died according to dallasmorningnews.com.

The police are still working on the exact cause of death.

How does this happen? How does a student leave for school and not make it home. Yes, it possibly could have been his heart, but other deadly fighting cases exist too. For instance a 13-year-old died after getting hit in the head during a fight, according to freelibrary.com. Another 16-year-old passed away from being beaten to death, according to chicagobreakingnews.com.

It happens all over the country, but what brings fighting to this level? I’m not a guy, so I don’t know what it’s like to fight or want to fight, but what is society teaching boys? Kids need to stand up for themselves, but not at the risk of killing someone else. That is something that can never be taken back. And that is something the kid who survives has to live with for the rest of his life. What kid wants that on his conscience? What kid deserves that?

Does society teach our kids that it’s okay, even acceptable to fight? Think of how popular UFC, Ultimate Fighting, Championship, is. It’s worth over a billion dollars. Kids look up to their heroes and sports players. They want to be like them. Adults may enjoy watching these fights, but do they want their children to incorporate what these fighters do into their young lives?

Is fighting with your fists really the answer? That’s something that every parent teaches their boy in one way or another. How does a child stand up for himself without fighting? No parent wants his child to be on the receiving end of a bully. Maybe instead of fighting, society should focus on how best to get along with other kids. They are probably just as insecure as every other child. Or another option…walk away. It may not show a student’s strength or how “hard core” he can be. He will, however, when he chooses this option have his dignity, the knowledge that he did the right thing, and his conscious that he didn’t brutally hurt someone else. But more importantly, he will have his life. And for that, you will be glad he chose to walk away.

HEART BREAK AND ANGER

We have all had our hearts broken at one time or another. Whether we liked someone and he/she didn’t like us back or someone broke up with us, we felt the pain.

At times, it’s difficult to distinguish between the hurt and the anger. It may get convoluted where you don’t know when the hurt stops and the anger begins.

I’m not implying that it’s right or fair, but we all deal with that hurt in different ways. This pain is magnetized if you had a relationship with someone, and it didn’t work out the way you wanted or expected. Imagine thinking you are on the same page as he is, then finding out, once you’ve invested time and your heart, that he doesn’t want the same thing you want or he “just isn’t ready.”

I recently read Steve Harvey’s book, “Straight Talk No Chaser.” In it, he says that a man is defined by three things: who he is, what he does, and how much he makes. If any one of these three things is missing, then he is going to spend his time finding that and not the time on YOU that you need.

Yes, I know…he should have figured this out a long time ago. Why would he keep going out with you if he didn’t want what you want? There are many explanations for this. Maybe he didn’t know what he wanted. Maybe he thought he wanted one thing and realized that he wasn’t being true to himself. Maybe he was scared to discover what he really wants. Maybe, maybe, maybe. You can keep your wheels turning and continue the conversations in your head or if you really want to know, you need
to ask him, and trust he will tell you the truth.

We have all heard the stories of people, or at least seen “When Harry Met Sally,” when Sally’s ex gets married right after he and she break up. Sally says, “But she’s supposed to be the transitional person. She isn’t supposed to be ‘The One.’ The fact is he just didn’t want to marry me.”

The truth is he may marry the very next person he dates. As hard of a reality as that is, yes, sometimes guys just don’t want to marry you. I know you are an amazing person, but that doesn’t mean you are the “right” person for him. And that doesn’t mean he is the “right” person for you.

He needs to be at a place in his life where he is ready…ready and willing to find “The One.” He also has to have an open mind and heart. If he doesn’t, and you come along, the timing will not be right and things will not happen the way you want or expect. And you will be the only one disappointed with that.

Yes, you may get hurt. Yes, you may twist that hurt into anger, not understanding his motives or actions. But take it as a blessing. You may not be the right person for him, but more importantly HE may not be the “The One” for you. And if that’s what your searching for, it’s better to know that now than once you’ve invested even more time in him or the relationship that you thought you wanted.

Think of where you would be if you got everything you wanted in life right when you wanted it? Would you be with someone else? In a completely different job or city? Would you be miserable? This hurt may be what saves you from the biggest mistake of your life. There is something or someone bigger and better in store for you.

Work through the pain and try not to be angry, because it’s not about you. It’s about him. Unless he is psychotic, not many people set out to intentionally hurt people. He is doing what he thinks is best for himself. I’m sure if it were you, you might have done things differently, but not everyone acts the same way you think they should.

Don’t make assumptions or go through different scenarios in your head. It will only drive you crazy and keep you from moving on…which is exactly what you need to do. You need to move forward the best you can. One small step at a time. Stop looking at his Facebook page. Don’t text him or email him. Whatever it is you need to do for you, do it!

Why do some guys still want to be friends after they break up with you? With most girls it doesn’t work that way. We don’t downshift that fast. We have too many emotions involved to be able to go from, “Hey we are romantically involved and I just saw you naked two nights ago,” to “Hey now we are just buddies, let’s go grab a beer and that’s it.” Even if we never had sex with the guy, we tend to be driven by the heart, so being friends isn’t a viable open right away. Because let’s be honest, you don’t see him as “just a friend.” You are still wanting more. If he still wants to be friends, let him know that isn’t possible right now. Some women want to keep talking to the guy, because they still want to hold onto the possibility that some thing might happen in the future. This just gives you false hope.

Years ago, I went out with a guy for about a month. Little did I know he still liked me months later. Then several more months passed, he and I started talking and we became the best of friends. We talked about anything and everything. There was no subject off limits and our conversation always flowed. We were so close, we traveled to Italy together. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought we were a couple. But the thing is, we needed that time after we went out to get to this place. We couldn’t have done it right after things ended. There were still too many emotions involved.

You control your emotions. Don’t hold onto that pain and anger, because it’s only hurting you. So give yourself that time, and be patient. Don’t rush through it. Spend time with your friends. Even if your heart is not 100% in it, go out with other guys. Maybe along the way, you will meet someone you enjoy even more. And referring to your ex, you will think, “Oh…what’s his name?”

And if it’s meant to be…it will.