Oprah's 10% Tipping Theory

I was talking with some co-workers today who told me that Oprah had recently said that in a time of economic crisis that it's okay to tip only 10%. Unlike so many of you, this is the first that I have actually heard of Oprah saying this. So, before emailing her, which I was about to do, I decided I needed to do some research. After all, I had not heard this myself, I was getting it from other people.

Now, I'm going to be honest, there are a few things that really bother me about tipping, but I'll get to that later. I looked up online about this Oprah and 10% tipping being okay thing. I did find a few people who say they actually saw the show where she made this statement. Many places I found said it was a rumor, and there was nothing to it.

Then there are others who say that Harpo took down the show where she made this statement, because it was getting too much negative backlash. I mean, this could be a real possibility. I was talking to my friend, Marc, once about something Oprah said on her show, and how I couldn't believe she said it. He said, "Sometimes you say something on live T.V. that sounds differently than the way you mean it to sound. But since it's live T.V. you can't take it back." Well, Oprah is live to tape, except on Fridays Live these days. So, technically, they can edit it. Nevertheless, I understand what he is saying. So, maybe Oprah didn't realize the backlash she would get from saying that it's okay to tip 10%, if in fact she said it.

Who really knows if she did? There is really no definitive answer.

On to what bothers me about tipping....IF you CAN'T afford a proper tip, then DON'T get the service! A PROPER tip is 20%!!! Not 15%! Not 18%! 20%! If the service is good, then tip OVER 20%! Twenty percent is average, and let me explain why...Because the server lives and make his/her living on ONLY the tips! And the server ISN'T getting the full 20%. He/She has to tip out the busser, bartender, sommelier, hostess, food runner, Maitre D', etc. There are plenty of people who get a percentage of the server's tips. So, the 20% that you think the server is getting, in reality, he/she may only be getting 75% of it...instead of the full 100%.

For instance, if you tip $20, thinking the server is getting $20. Actually, the server may only be getting $15.

If you buy wine, you MUST TIP on the wine, because the server HAS TO TIP out on the wine. So, if you are not tipping on the wine, then the server is paying for your to drink the wine! If you think, "Well, I'll just hand the sommelier $20, and deduct that tip from the server." THAT'S NOT the way to do it. Because the server is still having to tip out on the wine from his/her tips, and the sommelier is getting part of the server tips. So, you are really doing a lot of damage this way. Because not only is the server giving up some of his/her tips to the sommelier, you just doubled tips the sommelier for doing less work than the server has done. What good is that for anyone involved?

When you go out to eat, put yourself in the server's shoes. We are all allowed to have a bad day at work. When you have a bad day or when things don't go right for you, you are still getting paid the same amount of money. Well, maybe the server got in a car wreck before work or he/she is dealing with an illness in the family. You don't need to give a bad tip, because you just don't know what's going on in the server's life.

Also, if the food doesn't come out the way you want it, don't blame the server. He/She is not in the back cooking it. If the steak is not the right temperature, it's not the server's fault. If the restaurant is out of the wine you want, it's not the server's fault. He/She didn't do the wine inventory, nor does he/she order the wine. You don't give a bad tip, just because things don't go perfectly. Would we all like our restaurant experiences to be perfect? Absolutely! But when you are at work, do all of your days go perfectly??? NO! Then why would you deduct money from a server, because your day wasn't perfect?

You know you have had bad days, when things didn't go quite right...your boss didn't deduct from your salary, so don't do it to someone else. Consider what it's like to be a server...the different people you meet, the multitude of varying expectations, and the array of personalities. If you ever decide to give less than a 20% tip, then you NEED to get a job as a server, because your perspective would definitely change!

Tipping and the Service Industry

Why do some people think it's okay to leave a bad tip?  They want to go out and enjoy the service, but they don't want to tip what they should tip.

How do you know what to tip and to whom?  I completely understand this...in a world where it seems like everyone wants a tip for doing their job, who do you know who to tip.  

I will help you with this.  You should tip servers, bartenders, massage therapist, esthetician (or any service at the spa), hair stylists, just to name the more popular ones.

Now the baristas at your local coffee shop, you can tip, if your drink is difficult or you're a regular customer and they make your drink perfectly.  Actually, you can tip them a dollar just because.  You would be amazed to a service industry person how much an extra dollar from a person makes.  Just think, if everyone tipped a dollar over what they should, that makes a huge difference in that person's life.

Now for the service industry workers I mentioned earlier, how much should you tip?  People think that 15% is an acceptable amount.  Well, it's not.  You should tip 20% on the total bill.  The only reason not to tip 20% is if the server has a horrible attitude.  Just think when you have a bad day, it doesn't affect YOUR pay.  Remember the person could just be having a bad day...so have a little patience.

Now to those of you who think that anything under 20% is acceptable.  I understand you want to do whatever it is you're going to do, i.e. go to spa, restaurant, get your hair done, etc.  But if you can't afford a proper tip, then you can't afford to get the service.  Don't get the service and think, "Oh this is a lot of money I'm spending," and then decide to skim on the tip to save a few extra dollars.  It's not that person's fault that you are being cheap.  

This is how the people make their money, make their living.  You wouldn't want your boss you skim out a few thousand on you a year, because he/she was being cheap.  And yes, that's how much a service person misses out on a year for people skimming on the tip.

Oh, and if you eat out, and the food doesn't come out just the way you like it....like your steak is cooked wrong, most of the time, it's not the server's fault.  So, don't take it out on them in the tip.

There is no excuse for not tipping well.  If you're using a company credit card, don't use that as an excuse.  You can always add a few dollars of your own money in for the tip.  After all, you're getting the rest of the meal for free...on your company.  If you're with someone else who is paying and you don't know how they are going to tip, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and slide your server some money.

If the person is extra good, give him/her $5 more...better yet, $10 more, if you can afford it.  There's definitely nothing wrong with over tipping.  Everyone likes to make a little more money, especially in today's recession, when less people are getting services.   

I don't want to sway you from getting services, I just want to make sure when everyone does, they know how to properly tip.  Remember, if you can't tip correctly, then don't go for the service.  You wouldn't want someone to treat you that way, so why would you treat someone else that way?  After all, you're there to have a good time and enjoy yourself.  Leaving a proper tip can only add to the event, especially if you plan on returning there.