Oprah's 10% Tipping Theory

I was talking with some co-workers today who told me that Oprah had recently said that in a time of economic crisis that it's okay to tip only 10%. Unlike so many of you, this is the first that I have actually heard of Oprah saying this. So, before emailing her, which I was about to do, I decided I needed to do some research. After all, I had not heard this myself, I was getting it from other people.

Now, I'm going to be honest, there are a few things that really bother me about tipping, but I'll get to that later. I looked up online about this Oprah and 10% tipping being okay thing. I did find a few people who say they actually saw the show where she made this statement. Many places I found said it was a rumor, and there was nothing to it.

Then there are others who say that Harpo took down the show where she made this statement, because it was getting too much negative backlash. I mean, this could be a real possibility. I was talking to my friend, Marc, once about something Oprah said on her show, and how I couldn't believe she said it. He said, "Sometimes you say something on live T.V. that sounds differently than the way you mean it to sound. But since it's live T.V. you can't take it back." Well, Oprah is live to tape, except on Fridays Live these days. So, technically, they can edit it. Nevertheless, I understand what he is saying. So, maybe Oprah didn't realize the backlash she would get from saying that it's okay to tip 10%, if in fact she said it.

Who really knows if she did? There is really no definitive answer.

On to what bothers me about tipping....IF you CAN'T afford a proper tip, then DON'T get the service! A PROPER tip is 20%!!! Not 15%! Not 18%! 20%! If the service is good, then tip OVER 20%! Twenty percent is average, and let me explain why...Because the server lives and make his/her living on ONLY the tips! And the server ISN'T getting the full 20%. He/She has to tip out the busser, bartender, sommelier, hostess, food runner, Maitre D', etc. There are plenty of people who get a percentage of the server's tips. So, the 20% that you think the server is getting, in reality, he/she may only be getting 75% of it...instead of the full 100%.

For instance, if you tip $20, thinking the server is getting $20. Actually, the server may only be getting $15.

If you buy wine, you MUST TIP on the wine, because the server HAS TO TIP out on the wine. So, if you are not tipping on the wine, then the server is paying for your to drink the wine! If you think, "Well, I'll just hand the sommelier $20, and deduct that tip from the server." THAT'S NOT the way to do it. Because the server is still having to tip out on the wine from his/her tips, and the sommelier is getting part of the server tips. So, you are really doing a lot of damage this way. Because not only is the server giving up some of his/her tips to the sommelier, you just doubled tips the sommelier for doing less work than the server has done. What good is that for anyone involved?

When you go out to eat, put yourself in the server's shoes. We are all allowed to have a bad day at work. When you have a bad day or when things don't go right for you, you are still getting paid the same amount of money. Well, maybe the server got in a car wreck before work or he/she is dealing with an illness in the family. You don't need to give a bad tip, because you just don't know what's going on in the server's life.

Also, if the food doesn't come out the way you want it, don't blame the server. He/She is not in the back cooking it. If the steak is not the right temperature, it's not the server's fault. If the restaurant is out of the wine you want, it's not the server's fault. He/She didn't do the wine inventory, nor does he/she order the wine. You don't give a bad tip, just because things don't go perfectly. Would we all like our restaurant experiences to be perfect? Absolutely! But when you are at work, do all of your days go perfectly??? NO! Then why would you deduct money from a server, because your day wasn't perfect?

You know you have had bad days, when things didn't go quite right...your boss didn't deduct from your salary, so don't do it to someone else. Consider what it's like to be a server...the different people you meet, the multitude of varying expectations, and the array of personalities. If you ever decide to give less than a 20% tip, then you NEED to get a job as a server, because your perspective would definitely change!