35...and Finally Had a Real Date

  So, this is the follow up to my previous article 30 and Never Had a Real Date.  Well, I turned 35 about a month ago, and I finally had a real date.  Yeah for me !!!!  I met a guy through an online dating site, because let’s face it, I won’t pretend to know where to go to meet single guys these days.  I mean if you don’t meet them at work, school, or through friends, where do you meet them.  I’m not the bar/club type of person, and I don’t know anyone who can set me up with guys.  So, that leaves very few options.

            Anyways, we emailed a few times before we talked on the phone.  The conversations on the phone went very well.   The first conversation lasted 4 hours and the second lasted 6 hours, on Monday and Tuesday respectively.  Then we met up for drinks late on Friday.  We were both a little nervous, after all with the conversations going so well, I had some type of expectations, as I’m sure he did too.  The conversation was a little slow at first, but after the second drink, it went better.

            We agreed to meet up on Sunday for our first actual date.  We had this day planned and decided during the week.  After our two great conversations, we agreed to meet up on Fri for a pre-date.  So, technically Sunday was my first real date.  Now the poor guy didn’t have any idea that I had never had a real date.  I mean, he did tell me on Friday that he Googled me.  If you do the same, you will notice many things come up.  So, when he said this, I was shocked and surprised and even cringed a little, because I wasn’t sure what he read or saw about me.  Now, I’m sure you can imagine, I certainly didn’t want him seeing that I had never had a real date…that wouldn’t be a great way to just meet someone, “By the way I’ve never had a real date, no pressure : )”  I thought I would wait at least until I knew he liked me more to break this news to him.

            Anyways on Sunday, we were going to eat and walk around this outside area to “explore,” as he put it, which I wasn’t really sure what that meant, but I was up for it anyways.  After all, I had never had a real date.  Then he said the weather might not be too good, so he suggested the usual movie and dinner.  I said to him, “I guess that’s fine if you are already tired of talking to me.”  He laughed, but I guess he was, because we ended up doing dinner and a movie. 

            It went okay, but the conversation was more difficult this time.  I felt like I was the one who kept instigating the conversation, and if I didn’t ask questions or talk, there was only silence.  I liked the guy, so we went out a few more times.  After a month, I realized that my intuition was right, there was no emotional connection.  So, I ended it.  Now I realize I should’ve listened to my instincts and not kept going out with him for even a month.  I know what my likes/dislikes are, what my interests are, and what I want in a man.  This guy didn’t know any of these things about himself, which is fine in your twenties.  In your thirties, if you don’t know these things about yourself, you’re never going to find someone that lifts you, because you don’t even know who you are.

            Now, after finally having my first real date, I realize that I really haven’t been missing out on so much….the awkward conversations, the nervousness, the uncertainty, etc.  Then again, I could look at it as the appeal of meeting someone new, good conversation, and who knows how this person can change my life….right?  This is going to be a long road for me to find the man of my dreams, and I just started.  I do wish I would’ve started the whole “looking for the man of my dreams” a little while ago, because I realize it’s not just going to take one or two guys.  It may take me several years.  At the age of 35, and wanting a family, I don’t feel like I have several years.

            Which leads me to….okay, so I’ve tried all kinds of online dating sites, Match Eharmony, Plenty of fish, Sugardaddie, Millionairematch, Dateamillionaire, among I’m sure another one or two I can’t think of.  Now, I have only joined a few, but I’m registered on all of these, and for some reason I can’t find a good looking, interesting, with a good personality guy.  The guys that I find attractive or appealing don’t email me back, whereas the guys I’m not interested in email me.  So, what gives?  I’m a reasonably attractive, educated, fun, witty, adventurous, traveling gal, but for some reason I’m not attracting the men I want.  What’s the secret? 

            I mean if it’s going to take me several guys to find the man of my dreams, and I don’t know where to look besides online dating, and I can’t find any one to whom I’m attracted to respond to my emails, does that mean I’m going to be single forever???  Gosh, I hope not.  So, ladies and gentlemen, please, please, please, write me a comment and give me some advice on where I can go to find someone to whom I might be interested.  Tell me what’s the secret to writing a great online profile.  I’ve even read advice on how to write a great online profile, and obviously that’s not even working for me. 

            Granted, I’m the type of person who wants results now.  I wasn’t expecting to find my dream man in the first real date I’ve ever had, but a girl can hope can’t she?  I did find this great guy, or who seems to be a great guy (screen name Bamfum on a couple of sites) but I think he is not a paid member.  I’m really wanting to talk to him…just to see what would happen.  Of course, I need to get over that, because it’s completely out of my control….so I’ll just keep him in the back of my mind, just in case: ) 

            So let me put this out there to you…the guy I’m looking for isn’t perfect, because I know I’m not perfect.  He just has to be perfect for me.  He has to be attractive, ambitious, fun, be able to laugh at himself (because I’m the first to laugh at myself), supportive, challenge me, able to handle sarcasm (I can be quite sarcastic—but not in a judgmental negative way), outgoing, adventurous, a traveler, love to explore/try new things…okay, so good luck to meJ….But, I also know he is out there.  So, if you are looking for your “wish man,” as I like to call mine, because he is the man I wish I had, make sure you have a list (at least in your head) of who you are looking for and on what you are willing to compromise.  Since I’ve waited this long to find my “wish man,” I have to be willing to give up George (Clooney), Michael (Vartan) and Wentworth (Miller) for this guy, so he HAS to be one spectacular man.  Nothing else will (or should) do….and it should be the same for you.  Don’t give up, no matter how old you are, age is only relative after all, your “wish man” is out there.  You just have to keep looking…no matter how many men or years it takes.  Wish us luck!