I must be honest, it has taken me some time to be ready in my life to want to find that special someone. It’s not that I didn’t want to find him before, but now I’m on a mission to find him.
There was a time a few years ago where I didn’t know if I ever wanted to get married and have kids. I feel that not every woman has to be a wife and/or a mother in order to feel fulfilled. I know many of you will disagree with that, but I don’t think every woman should be a mother; and I wasn’t going to be one just because society thought I should. I only wanted to be one, if and when I was ready to be one.
Last year, I volunteered in Africa and everything changed. I worked in an HIV/AIDS clinic and an orphanage. I bonded with the most unlikely people, and when I got home, I knew I wanted to get married and have kids. There was a set of twin girls, 8 years old, who if I could have taken back with me, I would have. I fell in love with Queenie and Princess, which is what they called themselves, and I knew it was time.
Well, before I can think about having kids, I so desperately, like so many of you out there, want to find my soul mate, the one I can’t live without. I didn’t know this would be such an undertaking. Not that I thought it would come easily, but it seems all my friends have had no problems finding their husbands, why is it such a task for me?
I understand that I’m picky, but if I’m going to spend the rest of my life with this person, shouldn’t I be picky? There are certain things I want, that I’m sure many other women want as well….I want someone who is respectful, generous, and loving. I also want him to be financially stable and ambitious. Being with someone who lives paycheck to paycheck makes for a difficult relationship and doesn’t leave a woman with a sense of security, especially if you want kids one day. I would like him to have goals, because if he can’t challenge himself, he certainly won’t be able to challenge me.
I’m tall (5’9”), so I want someone who is taller than I am, 5’11” or taller would be nice. Now I know you might think this is really being picky, but I’ve gone out with a guy shorter than I am, and I just never felt comfortable with it.
I like adventure and traveling, so it would be great if he shared in those, especially traveling. But what I really want is someone who I’m attracted to who is also going to treat me well…someone who is a good conversationalist and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
Now the problem arises. Where do I go find this attractive, tall, financially stable, ambitious, loving, traveling man? I don’t like the bar/club scene. If you don’t meet him at work or school, there leaves little options.
So I’m currently trying the online dating thing. It’s going okay, but not great. The people that seem to like my profile, I’m not interested in. The guys I like, don’t seem to be interested in me. What gives?
I did find this username Bamfum on a couple of sites that I looked on. But who is Bamfum? I like what his profile said, and I find him very attractive. Yes, he is tall at 6’8”, but I don’t have his real name. Obviously on the online sites, they don’t publish their real names. He also hasn’t been on the sites in a while, so who knows if he will ever go back on them. I’m so fascinated with him that I can’t get him off my mind. That just sounds terrible, considering I’ve never met or even talked to Bamfum. I emailed him once, but he hasn’t been on the site to even read it….which brings me to this question….
Have you ever seen someone in passing, at a restaurant, grocery story, and you were drawn to this person for some reason but never said anything to him? Then as the hours went on, the days passed, you kept thinking of him…wishing you had said something, anything? But in that moment that you saw him, you didn’t know what to say. You knew he wasn’t wearing a ring, but that’s all you knew. You didn’t know how to approach him, how to start a conversation, or you are shy?
So as I continue on my long journey of finding my future husband, wish me luck, as I wish you luck. I find this task is going to be grueling, but I know it will be really worth it in the end, because I KNOW he is out there…somewhere looking for me as I’m looking for him. And keep in mind, I’ve found that not saying something…anything…even hi will eat you up more than you trying to start a conversation. Who knows what “hi” can lead to…he just might be “the ONE.” So, Bamfum, if you’re out there, I just want to say, “Hi.”
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