Happy New Year and HELLO 2010

Almost another year has come and gone....and in this year it seems my life didn't change much. Well, a few things definitely stand out.

One of the more important ones is I found out my best friend from high school, Andrea Smith Cobb, past away. She actually died three years ago, but I just found out about it in September, the day after my birthday. Happy Birthday to me, right?! I drove to Tulsa a month later, for her birthday, to visit her grave. It was heartbreaking for me. I cried myself to sleep for three days after finding out about her death. A Braum's semi truck hit her car, with her mom, husband, two little boys and herself. Although her mom was badly injured, Andrea is the only one who died. Her sons and husband walked away without a scrape.

I met up with her mom at the beginning of November. She and I talked for several hours about Andrea, high school, and all the years in between. Although I hadn't talked to her in years, I still miss her, and I don't think that will change. I think of her often and never for one moment realized that when I begged to see her at our high school reunion (because she wasn't going to it) that would be my last time.

She was one of those people...the one who everyone loved. She treated everyone the same, was friendly, and always had a smile for you. She was caring, giving, and generous....and she made me laugh. Just seeing her made my day brighter, and I knew it was going to be a good one. Andrea was rare, and just having her in my life, makes me a better person. I find myself talking to her, knowing that she is watching over me and on my side no matter what. She is up there with my uncle, and they are having a good time laughing...probably at my expense. But that's okay, because I would be laughing right there with them.

Her boys were 3 and 7 when she died. Andrea's mom gives all she has to make sure they remember Andrea. The thing is...anyone who knew her will never forget her. She is just not a forgettable person...She is my friend, and even in her death, that can't be taken away.

Another memorable moment of 2009 is I met up with another high school friend who I haven't seen since high school. She and I live about 5 minutes away from each other, and we finally got together for lunch. It was a great time, and she is actually the one who told me about Andrea. I had been waiting for 17 years to meet up with her. I'm so pleased we finally had the chance, because I've missed her over the years.

Then there is Facebook....I got in touch with my dearest friend from high school. She didn't go to high school with me, but we met at work. I've missed her terribly throughout the years. She is still doing well in North Carolina...living what looks like the good life and enjoying it. I'm so happy for her. She and I shared so many good times.

Thank you, 2009, for all my many friend discoveries. I know 2010 will send vast career advancements and my wish man to me! So, goodbye to 2009, and HHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOO 2010! Here's looking at the new hope for MY CAREER and MY MAN! I hope you have a wonderful New Year and a better 2010! Best Wishes on all that awaits you!

It's Going To Be A Good Day

You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up with a cold sore, a zit on your neck, and your back still hurting from a fall on the ice two days ago.

Yes, I am just like everyone else, I break out sometimes, and every so often I get a cold sore, which I ABSOLUTELY HATE! When I get one, it pretty much ruins my day. I wish there was a shot, like a flu shot, where you don't get one again. I would have this shot daily if it stopped me from getting cold sores. I've done the research and even take L-Lysine daily, but it still doesn't help. Most people have the virus, but not everyone gets break outs. Dang, why can't I be one that doesn't get break outs?!

I bought Abreva, but it usually takes several days for the cold sore to disappear even with Abreva. Then I also went to a vitamin store to buy some more potent stuff. It is a highly strong spray, professional strength, so I'm hoping it only takes a couple of days to work. I just get so self conscious when I have a cold sore.

So, I didn't mess with the zit on my neck. It was one that was under the skin, so it was hurting so badly. The pressure of it is going away, so I'm glad I didn't mess with it, which I usually do...but it's still there. Maybe in a day, it will be gone completely.

Now to my back...On Christmas night, I went to my mom's house. It had iced the night before, but the streets were now clear. Her driveway wasn't, but I parked my car on it anyways. I went to my car to get presents out. I was in my trusty tennis shoes, just standing there, about to open my passenger back door...BOOM. I just fall. Yes, I know, how do I fall when I'm just standing there, not even moving? Well, it's Jessica's World, and anything is possible! So, as I'm lying flat on my back with my right palm scrapped, because I tried to break my fall, and my little brother walks to the car on the other side. As he stands in the grass, he asks, "Are you okay? Do you need help?"

As I tried unsuccessfully to get up, because my trusty tennis shoes keep sliding down the ice, due to lack of traction, I reply, "I'm okay, and yeah I could use some help."

He says, "Well, I'm over here."

By this time, I just keep sliding and somehow manage to get up on my own...no thanks to my brother, still standing safely on the grass. Thanks for the help : )

I walk in the house with my back/behind a little sore and tears slowly streaming down my face. So, I guess I should have known from this that I would be hurting for days. But to be honest, I never thought about it...as soon as I got inside we began our Christmas and never gave it another thought. I guess that's what happens when you're surrounded by family and having a good time.

The things that seem hard....aren't, because your thoughts are being occupied by the good times and fun. So, I hope like me, you may have a few tough or rough days, but the good times outweigh them. I certainly wish for you a happy holiday season and a great New Year's. Oh, and I hope you have many memorable moments....and remember to enjoy the times and live in the present!

I knew it was going to be a "good day" when I awoke to so many imperfect things, but I also know these types of days are rare, so I'll take it, knowing they don't happen too often...and there are many people who have it tougher...

In a few days, my back won't hurt, my zit will disappear as will my cold sore...that is until any of it happens again..or as my best friend, Marc says, "Jessica, your life is a comedy show." I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult....?? After all, it is Jessica's World, and it's always unpredictable...

Oprah's 10% Tipping Theory

I was talking with some co-workers today who told me that Oprah had recently said that in a time of economic crisis that it's okay to tip only 10%. Unlike so many of you, this is the first that I have actually heard of Oprah saying this. So, before emailing her, which I was about to do, I decided I needed to do some research. After all, I had not heard this myself, I was getting it from other people.

Now, I'm going to be honest, there are a few things that really bother me about tipping, but I'll get to that later. I looked up online about this Oprah and 10% tipping being okay thing. I did find a few people who say they actually saw the show where she made this statement. Many places I found said it was a rumor, and there was nothing to it.

Then there are others who say that Harpo took down the show where she made this statement, because it was getting too much negative backlash. I mean, this could be a real possibility. I was talking to my friend, Marc, once about something Oprah said on her show, and how I couldn't believe she said it. He said, "Sometimes you say something on live T.V. that sounds differently than the way you mean it to sound. But since it's live T.V. you can't take it back." Well, Oprah is live to tape, except on Fridays Live these days. So, technically, they can edit it. Nevertheless, I understand what he is saying. So, maybe Oprah didn't realize the backlash she would get from saying that it's okay to tip 10%, if in fact she said it.

Who really knows if she did? There is really no definitive answer.

On to what bothers me about tipping....IF you CAN'T afford a proper tip, then DON'T get the service! A PROPER tip is 20%!!! Not 15%! Not 18%! 20%! If the service is good, then tip OVER 20%! Twenty percent is average, and let me explain why...Because the server lives and make his/her living on ONLY the tips! And the server ISN'T getting the full 20%. He/She has to tip out the busser, bartender, sommelier, hostess, food runner, Maitre D', etc. There are plenty of people who get a percentage of the server's tips. So, the 20% that you think the server is getting, in reality, he/she may only be getting 75% of it...instead of the full 100%.

For instance, if you tip $20, thinking the server is getting $20. Actually, the server may only be getting $15.

If you buy wine, you MUST TIP on the wine, because the server HAS TO TIP out on the wine. So, if you are not tipping on the wine, then the server is paying for your to drink the wine! If you think, "Well, I'll just hand the sommelier $20, and deduct that tip from the server." THAT'S NOT the way to do it. Because the server is still having to tip out on the wine from his/her tips, and the sommelier is getting part of the server tips. So, you are really doing a lot of damage this way. Because not only is the server giving up some of his/her tips to the sommelier, you just doubled tips the sommelier for doing less work than the server has done. What good is that for anyone involved?

When you go out to eat, put yourself in the server's shoes. We are all allowed to have a bad day at work. When you have a bad day or when things don't go right for you, you are still getting paid the same amount of money. Well, maybe the server got in a car wreck before work or he/she is dealing with an illness in the family. You don't need to give a bad tip, because you just don't know what's going on in the server's life.

Also, if the food doesn't come out the way you want it, don't blame the server. He/She is not in the back cooking it. If the steak is not the right temperature, it's not the server's fault. If the restaurant is out of the wine you want, it's not the server's fault. He/She didn't do the wine inventory, nor does he/she order the wine. You don't give a bad tip, just because things don't go perfectly. Would we all like our restaurant experiences to be perfect? Absolutely! But when you are at work, do all of your days go perfectly??? NO! Then why would you deduct money from a server, because your day wasn't perfect?

You know you have had bad days, when things didn't go quite right...your boss didn't deduct from your salary, so don't do it to someone else. Consider what it's like to be a server...the different people you meet, the multitude of varying expectations, and the array of personalities. If you ever decide to give less than a 20% tip, then you NEED to get a job as a server, because your perspective would definitely change!

Wanting It Just a Little Easier

So, I've been frustrated a little this past week or so. I decided over a month ago that I was going to redesign my website, www.jessicarector.com. It took me a while and lots of time investigating who I would hire to design the site. I wanted a good looking one, but I was also on a budget. I was told about elance.com, which is a great site if you are looking to hire someone for a similar job. They also offer other services like sales and programming.

Anyways, I posted my job but had trouble deciding exactly who I wanted to design my site. I looked over several portfolios, and the compared the prices. The prices differed by several thousands, so was weighing the benefits and costs. I finally decided on someone to design the site.

Before they began, I needed to change my hosting company, because I needed to make sure the host could support what was going to be done. I also found some cheaper hosting companies online, so I was changing. I looked into several and finally decided on justhost.com.

I've had nothing but problems with them. They initially told me that I wouldn't have to redesign my site. I wanted to keep my same site as it was until the redesign was finished. When I went to look at my site, it didn't exist. Someone else told me I would have to start all over with my site.

I wanted to be able to find a clear, clean template, and there isn't one. Then it gave you sites where you can buy a template. Well, I certainly didn't want to do that, considering I was only going to have it for a few weeks. Then I had problems with the email. I couldn't send or receive emails.

I was just trying to upload a media file. I just did a new interview a week ago. It was edited and ready to be uploaded to the site. So I contacted justhost to find out how to upload a large media file. It would only let me upload one that was 10 MB and my media file was 21 MB. The first person told me that I needed to download an ftp program. I did that, but then I couldn't remember what else I needed to do, because I had to do this with my other hosting company. I contacted justhost again to ask what I needed to do next. This person told me that I wasn't allowed to put videos on my site.

Now, does that make any sense? Why am I not allowed to upload my own videos on my own site? I had spoken to other workers from justhost and no one bothered to tell me this before, so you can imagine how mad I was. The agent said it states this in their terms and conditions. Now...how many people actually read all the terms and conditions? Shouldn't they say this when you are signing up for their service or shouldn't someone ask when you call asking about their service. I called justhost three times asking all kinds of questions before I transferred my domain name to them. It doesn't say anything on their site about not being able to upload video files. I guess they really do expect everyone to read their 20 pages or so to their terms and conditions.

Of course I can't transfer my domain again for 60 days. So, I'm going to have a very pathetic looking website for 60 days. Then I had to email my new designer and let him know about this, because he was expecting it to go live when he was finished. I don't even know if he will be able to keep the formatted version for two months. I'm hoping he understands, especially since I have been very understanding with them. It has taken them two weeks and the home page isn't even finished. Oh, and he told me it would be completely finished in three weeks. So, I guess this buys him a little more time to finish the work.

It's just frustrating that justhost doesn't bother to tell new clients that video or audio files can't be uploaded. They don't have it anywhere on their site. It just seems like they are being a little sneaky about it, and I don't like that. I mean, can't you just be forthcoming with it.

I guess all I have left to say is, "Welcome to my world." Life is never easy...but in the end, it will all be worthwhile...and it will make a great story.

Giving Thanks

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I spent the time with my dad, two sisters, and nephew. We had the best turkey I've ever had. It was tender and moist. Oh, and I don't know about you, but one of my favorite parts is the skin from the turkey. I kept eating it, as my dad kept saying, "Do you know how bad that is for you?" Of course, like any good daughter, I didn't listen.

We had all the trimmings, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberries, homemade stuffing (not cornbread but my mom's recipe is the best!), green bean casserole, ambrosia, and pumpkin pies. I actually forgot to make my cherry pie, but I will make it this weekend. I love desserts. I will make a pecan pie with chocolate chips for Christmas. That's my favorite..just put it in the microwave for 15-20 seconds before eating it. Top it with whipped or ice cream. It's scrummy!

My younger sister, an NICU nurse, had to work that evening, so I took her son and two lab puppies to the dog park. We were going to go earlier, but then I wanted to finish watching the Cowboys game. By the time that ended, I went to get the dogs and got to the park, it was about 7:30 pm. I didn't think that was too late, but apparently it was. It was dark, so my nine year old nephew didn't want to go, because we were also the only ones there. I told him, it was fine, and we slowly walked to the gates. It was quite chilly outside, and we both only wore a jacket. The boys had great fun...just being outside in a wide open space, although next time we need to go earlier so they make some friends.

We didn't stay long, because it was so cold outside. My nephew and I headed back home to watch our rented Star Trek. It was great fun. Hope your Thanksgiving was a good one too. Email me your holiday stories and pictures.

Finding New Flaws

Okay, is it just me or what?! I thought things were supposed to get better with age. I just don't understand, like really wrap my brain around it, how as I've gotten older things with my body change so much. I mean, really??

Okay, I used to have full, thick hair. Now, when I get out of the shower, I have to take a tissue, wrap it around the bottom of my hair and pull all the extra hairs that are dangling. I just don't understand it.

I thought breaking out was supposed to happen when you were a teenager. Well, I break out more now then I ever did then or in my twenties. I see a little, small, minute "bump" in my skin, and I continue to pick, squeeze, and mess with it, until it turns into a red patch. I see my "huge" pores and just keep picking at them, as if doing this is going to make the pore disappear or even shrink. I don't even have one of those magnifying mirrors...the ones where you can see the smallest thing on your face and think it's a volcano about to explode. Shoot, if I had this mirror, I may never leave the bathroom. My biggest flaw is finding these small insignificant imperfections on my chest and creating a red mountain. Then I kick myself for picking at something that barely existed. But now I've messed with it so much, that it's definitely going to be there for at least another week. Why oh why do I do this?

I have no concrete answer for this one...and I wish I did. If I see some minute imperfection in my skin, it's like something takes over in my brain. I am no longer Jessica, and I become The Picker. I obsess and obsess about the bump...not stopping until I've torn my skin apart.

I went to the dermatologist once and saw an act that he performed on my skin. I had this white spot that looked like a zit underneath the skin, which in fact it was. It was a pimple that refused to break through the top layer of skin. So he took a small needle to break the skin and then a tool that pressed around the pimple to bring out the white. When I saw how easy this was to do, I thought, "If this ever happens again, I can do this on my own."

It has happened again...and I've tried on my own. I get a sterilized needle, poke the top layer of skin and then squeeze. Okay, a few times, it has worked perfectly...after I figured out how to exactly maneuver the needle and poke exactly where it needs to be. Other times, it doesn't work at all, and all I managed to draw is a little blood, which turns into a scab. But I'm willing to endure this for the possibility that I can get the perfect stick and drawn the stubborn pimple out. The things I go through to have great skin ends up making my skin worse than if I would have just left it alone to begin with.

I'm trying to be patient and know that as I'm getting older, losing a few strands of hair, my skin is changing too, which I absolutely hate. My once unseen pores look as though they are growing overnight. Dare I say...I can even see a slight sagging in the face. Oh my, I hate to say it...I'm not obsessed, I'm just concerned and want to do all I can to remain looking that way I'm used to looking. I'm not saying I want to look like a teenager or a twenty year old. I'm just saying that I don't want things to be changing...or not so quickly, as where it seems to happen overnight.

So, I won't become obsessed if you don't. I won't worry about me changing if you don't. I won't pick, mess with, or squeeze if you don't. I refuse to see those "volcano" on my skin if you refuse. I'll give up my needle sticking days, if you do...I'll remain the non-getting zits in my younger days woman, if you do. I won't give a thought to any bumps, pimples, or skin imperfections, if you won't....So ladies throw away that magnifying mirror and realize that the minute, small thing you see in your skin will go away quicker if you just let it be. There won't be a red mark, a scab or scar. So leave it alone, stop looking in the mirror, and don't give it another thought....Okay, well maybe one more thought!