I am a journalist, not because my degree says so.
I am a reporter, although I’ve never worked for a national news station.
I am an investigator, not only because the truth finds me.
I am a journalist, reporter, and investigator, because as my name jessICAREctor states, I care….To tell the stories of the people and to give…the people a voice. So, tell me, what’s your story and who are you?
Why do some people think it's okay to leave a bad tip? They want to go out and enjoy the service, but they don't want to tip what they should tip.
How do you know what to tip and to whom? I completely understand this...in a world where it seems like everyone wants a tip for doing their job, who do you know who to tip.
I will help you with this. You should tip servers, bartenders, massage therapist, esthetician (or any service at the spa), hair stylists, just to name the more popular ones.
Now the baristas at your local coffee shop, you can tip, if your drink is difficult or you're a regular customer and they make your drink perfectly. Actually, you can tip them a dollar just because. You would be amazed to a service industry person how much an extra dollar from a person makes. Just think, if everyone tipped a dollar over what they should, that makes a huge difference in that person's life.
Now for the service industry workers I mentioned earlier, how much should you tip? People think that 15% is an acceptable amount. Well, it's not. You should tip 20% on the total bill. The only reason not to tip 20% is if the server has a horrible attitude. Just think when you have a bad day, it doesn't affect YOUR pay. Remember the person could just be having a bad day...so have a little patience.
Now to those of you who think that anything under 20% is acceptable. I understand you want to do whatever it is you're going to do, i.e. go to spa, restaurant, get your hair done, etc. But if you can't afford a proper tip, then you can't afford to get the service. Don't get the service and think, "Oh this is a lot of money I'm spending," and then decide to skim on the tip to save a few extra dollars. It's not that person's fault that you are being cheap.
This is how the people make their money, make their living. You wouldn't want your boss you skim out a few thousand on you a year, because he/she was being cheap. And yes, that's how much a service person misses out on a year for people skimming on the tip.
Oh, and if you eat out, and the food doesn't come out just the way you like it....like your steak is cooked wrong, most of the time, it's not the server's fault. So, don't take it out on them in the tip.
There is no excuse for not tipping well. If you're using a company credit card, don't use that as an excuse. You can always add a few dollars of your own money in for the tip. After all, you're getting the rest of the meal for free...on your company. If you're with someone else who is paying and you don't know how they are going to tip, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and slide your server some money.
If the person is extra good, give him/her $5 more...better yet, $10 more, if you can afford it. There's definitely nothing wrong with over tipping. Everyone likes to make a little more money, especially in today's recession, when less people are getting services.
I don't want to sway you from getting services, I just want to make sure when everyone does, they know how to properly tip. Remember, if you can't tip correctly, then don't go for the service. You wouldn't want someone to treat you that way, so why would you treat someone else that way? After all, you're there to have a good time and enjoy yourself. Leaving a proper tip can only add to the event, especially if you plan on returning there.
In high school, I was never really interested in dating. I didn't think anything of this at the time, after all, I was more interested in hanging out with my friends. I did have this mad crush on a guy who was my friend, but he (I assume because everyone knew how much I liked him) didn't like me like that, which you will soon realize just happens to be a repetitive theme in my life. A few weeks before prom, I started talking to another guy, because I really wanted a prom date. We were having problems a couple days before prom, but I didn't want to end it, because we had already paid for everything for prom. I stuck it out, and it ended right after prom.
I went to college, As college goes, you're broke, and no one has money to go out on a real date. My freshman year, I hung out with a couple of guys. One heavily pursued me, and we started going out. Just as I really started to like him, Christmas came, and he became interested in someone else. My first semester sophomore year, I met a guy, and we started going out, which consisted of hanging out at his place most of the time. We went out to eat once in our three month relationship (which to this date in my life is still my longest relationship), but I had to pay for the both of us. He, very conveniently, "had no money." Second semester sophomore year, I met a group of guys. From that moment until the end of my college years, I hung out almost exclusively with this group and never really thought about dating. Okay, I thought about dating...one of them. We hung out, wanting to start something, and decided to tell the rest of the group. Needless to say, that was the beginning and the end of us.
After college, I had another mad crush on someone I worked with. Once again, he knew (as everyone knew) how much I liked him; and again, I could only assume, he didn't feel the same, although I was hoping and praying that would change...but oh, it never did. I changed jobs a year later. Six months after I started my job, I had lunch with a guy, as friends. We went dutch. Shortly after, we started seeing each other but never really went on a date. It ended in a month. A month later, I started seeing someone else. We hung out but, again, never went out, because he was broke. It lasted a month. That was 6, yes 6, years ago. And you know what? I haven't been out with anyone since. It's not that I don't want to, because I do...really, I do. I just don't know where to meet them. Bars and clubs aren't really my scene, plus how many relationships have worked out well from them. I'm not saying they can't work out, but I don't enjoy those scenes, so why would I go there in hopes of meeting someone? I haven't worked with anyone whom I'm interested in. My friends are married and know no good single men. I've asked them. I know some good single men still exist...but, where are they?
I've been asked my whole life, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" If I knew the answer to this question, which I hate, by the way, I would try to rectify it. Lately, I've been asked, "When are you getting married?" Well...you have to have been on a real date first. What really remains a mystery to me is how I am 30 years old and have never had a real date. How is that possible? Not because I am a supermodel, but I just never thought that I would be 30 and never been on a date. Most girls go on their first date when they are 16. So, I've missed that boat...by just a few years. I've heard numerous times, "It will happen when you are not looking." Well, I haven't really been looking for the last 30 years...and it has yet to happen.
I don't think my date expectations are too high. What I mean by a real date is dinner, one where I am not paying for him. Included in the date would be a movie, a comedy show, piano bar, nice walk, or anything that shows a little imagination is a nice touch. Shoot, who am I kidding? At this point, I would go for just dinner.
Also, my guy standards used to be a lot lower. They have risen a bit throughout the years. Okay, so I can tell you my "ideal" man (but then again, can't everyone?), but I'm willing to compromise on certain things (he doesn't have to be an architect). I'm not willing to settle, which is why my previous men encounters have lasted so briefly. I'm not the kind of woman who will go out with a guy for a free meal or just for the sake of going. If there's no potential for something more, I will end it. Hence, the one month encounters mentioned above.
In the last few years, I went out with this guy, and in three years, we never went out one time. Can you believe we never went out? Better yet, can you believe I stayed with someone who never took me out in three years? Well, that's over, because I deserve and want better. Also, recently, I have really enjoyed spending time with my girlfriends (although all are married). This may hinder my man situation just a bit. My friends are no longer looking, so when we go out, we don't go to the same places we would have gone when we were single. I can't really go looking for someone by myself. Okay, so maybe I haven't aggressively pursued to rectify this as much as I could. So if you don't meet someone at work or through a friend, where does a single girl go to become a "real" date for someone? I've asked around, and no one seems to have a definitive answer. Now...there's a real mystery for you. So, guys, anyone up for dinner?
I love doing my show for so many reasons. It took me so long to finally figure out what I wanted to do in life. You can read about it in my bio. But I'll share a little of it with you.
I refuse to settle in life. I want the things that I want, and I won't apologize for wanting them. I feel if someone tells you that you shouldn't go after what you want, then they aren't supporting you. If someone tells you that you can't get the job, guy, or life you want, then they don't need to be in your life. This is easier to say pertaining to friends than to family, but if your family thinks this, then be around them only when necessary. Or don't mention these things when you are with them, if you know they are not going to have anything positive to say. I feel that when people say you can't get the things you want, they are saying you should settle for something else. I refuse to settle.
When I graduated college, the first time, I had no idea what I really wanted to do in life. I was told by many others what they thought I should do. I went into sales, thinking maybe that's what I wanted. Well, I didn't like it at all, maybe it was because I was trying to sell copiers and fax machines...yawn (no offense to those that do sell those items).
I went back to school for my MBA. I did that part-time for two years, then moved to Los Angeles. I was there a year before I moved back to finish my MBA. I didn't know, at that time, what I wanted to do. I decided to take classes that interested me to try and figure out what I wanted to do. I thought, "Well, if I don't know what I want to do, I can narrow it down by knowing what I didn't want to do."
I traveled a lot of the next two years, while getting my MBA. I also lived in Norway for 6 months. I met people from all over the world. That one experience helped me to learn so much about other people, cultures, and lives...and it changed my life. I graduated with my MBA and moved back to Los Angeles.
In my two years I was there, I had a friend who had a local talk show and thought I should try it. I thought, "I don't really have much to say," although people who know me would disagree with that. I then thought, "Well, other people have stuff to say." I started my show and, years later, I'm still loving it. I meet so many new and interesting people. But more than that, I hear so many amazing stories. Experiences and issues I never would have thought about. There are so many things that go on in peoples’ lives that, given all the time in the world, I would never imagine. I enjoy hearing the stories. It allows me to learn so much and helps me to become more involved. We, as individuals, tend to not give much thought about issues that don't directly affect us. This show allows us to give those issues more thought...to give them more consideration...and to provide more support and understanding to those that are facing these situations.
I have learned that we have to hurt, to face decisions, to experience life, in order to help others. When we share all that, we can help ease the life of someone else. Peoples' lives, peoples' stories affect me. I recently read an article in Glamour Oct 2008 issue about postpartum depression. Jenny had given birth to son, Graham. Jenny's twin sister, Becky, visited her and a few weeks later, Jenny took Graham in the backyard and shot him and then herself. Becky started www.jennyslight.org in honor of her sister and Graham. According to the article, the doctors think she has postpartum psychosis. Becky wants to make it mandatory for new mothers to receive mental health screening to prevent this from happening to others.
What can you do? Get involved and help build awareness. Contact Jenny's Light at www.jennyslight.org for more information or to donate to their cause. If you have experienced postpartum, talk about it. We got a glimpse of it when Brooke Shields and Tom Cruise had the "discussion" about taking medication for postpartum depression. Don't wait for a celebrity to bring it to the forefront of the news to think it's okay to discuss it.
It's always okay to talk about it. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it with your family or friends or you don't think they would understand, join a support group. Call your local hospitals and find out if they have any recommendations for local support groups in your area. Having the support is the key to dealing with and getting through anything.
Postpartum depression is a topic that we don't hear enough about. If you have not directly experienced it, people tend to really not know what it's like. We hear things like, ";I can't get out of bed," or "Being a mother is not what I thought it would be." To most people who haven't been directly affected by postpartum depression, we might think we've thought how we can't get out of bed. We wouldn't think thoughts like this would lead to killing yourself or your child.
Spreading the word and getting the information out about issues like this is important. It's nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed about. The more we talk about our issues, the more aware we make people, the more we help others. Don't you want to help others who may be experiencing the same symptoms you have/had. For those of you who have recovered from postpartum depression, talk, talk, talk. Let those who are currently experiencing it to know that they, too, can make it through and recover. Let them know it's okay to feel the way they are feeling, that they will get better, and, most importantly, you are there for them. There's nothing better to know that someone has been through the same thing you are going through, dealt with it, and got better. Just to be able to talk with someone...makes all the difference in the world. I know.
Although I've never had postpartum, I've learned that support, an ear, and a friend can get you through anything...and everything. I hope this inspires you to, no matter what you've been through, you take the time to help someone else going through a similar issue or be a little more understanding when someone else is going through another experience. Because, who knows, if you grew up the way they did, had the same experiences they had, and were at the same place as they are...you might likely do the exact same thing as they. So, next time, you judge, think...that could be you, and that person is really not that different than you.
Talk, talk, talk, especially if it's a topic you "shouldn't" talk about...that's even more reason to discuss it...and spread the word and give hope to the world!
I started wondering how we establish out habits. Take me for instance....I have some habits, that even I stop them for a short period of time, sooner or later, they always find me again. One habit I've had since I can remember is biting my nails. Yes, I am a nail biter....and not it's not because I'm nervous. People tend to think all people who bite their nails are nervous. I'm not, because I can be anywhere doing anything, and I bite them. I've actually gotten better at it. I don't bite them if they are long. I only gnaw on them if they are short. Oh, and usually, I also bite on the skin around the nails. I know it sounds gross, but there are definitely worse habits. Oh, I can break this habit for a while, if I paint my nails. So, for the most part, my nails are ALWAYS painted. The thing that really sucks is that when you bite your nails, repetitively, and too much they become “nubs” or “nubbins”;, as I like to call them, to the point they just hurt. Oh another habit of fine, is I'm a little obsessed with nail files. I think this stems from me being a nail biter. I ALWAYS have to have a nail file around. If my nail is a little uneven, and I don't have a file around, I will end up biting my nail until it is even, hence, the need for a nail file...so I don't bite them. I always carry at least two files in my purse, just to make sure....just like I always have Chapstick in my purse. Oh, that's another habit of mine...I have to put on Chapstick before going to bed and keep a tube by my bed. I used to use Blistex til a friend of mine told me that they put something in Blistex, so people become addicted to it. I stopped using it then, but now I just substitute it for Chapstick. I need to have a tube in my purse. Even if I'm watching a sporting event and not taking my purse, I put my Chapstick in my pocket. Isn't it funny how when you spend time with people, you tend to start saying things they say? Well, I've picked up some sayings that just bug the heck out of my sister. But what's really funny, is she is the only one who realizes I say these things. When telling a story about "My friend, Marc." She tells me she knows that Marc is my friend and I don't need to say, "My friend..." The funny thing is I say, "My friend," when I'm talking about any one of my friends. I never just say their name. I have no idea why this is....I don't even know where I got this from. As a matter of fact, I don't know where I got any of my sayings from. When I'm really excited about something, I tend to repeat it three times. For instance I would say, “Oh my gosh, did you hear that? Did you hear what they said? Oh my gosh, that's so great, did you hear that?” My sister says, "I heard you all three times you said it." I never even realize I'm saying it three times. I finally told her that I say things I'm really excited about three times, because I know how much satisfaction she gets from saying, "I heard you all three times you said it" So, I'm really doing it for her satisfaction. Another thing of late that I say is, "I'm just saying... " I could be talking about how much I liked the movie, The Hangover. Heavily laughing, I was telling my mom and my sister about the part where they are in the desert and the Asian man jumps out of the trunk, swinging a crow bar, hitting the guys in the face. I say, "As he jumps out of the trunk swinging, he is naked...and, I'm sorry, so very small." I'm not a perv in any way, but I was having problems seeing it. I was laughing so hard, my mom and sister couldn't really understand me. I looked up and they had dumbfounded looks on their faces, which were saying, "I guess you had to be there." So I reply, "I'm just saying...it was hilarious. Guess you have to see it." By the way, I thought The Hangover would be such a guy movie. A guy I know said if I didn't like it, he would give me the money I paid to get into the movie. In that case, I had to see it. And dang it, I wasn't going to get my money from him....because it is so not a guy's movie. It was so much funnier than I thought it was going to be. Keep in mind, Something About Mary is not my style of comedy, which people said The Hangover was like...which it's not. My type of comedy is When Harry Met Sally. I'm a person who doesn't really laugh out loud. If I find something funny, I'll say to myself, “Oh that's funny.” But I just don't find things sooo funny that it's necessary to laugh out loud. Well, there are a few times when that's not the case…any random episode of Friends. I just love that show. I can watch the same episode of that show, just like When Harry Met Sally, several times and still laugh out loud. Like the episode when Ross, along with Rachel and Chandler, are moving a sofa up the stairs, and Ross keeps saying, "Pivot... pivot...pivot." I say this to others when I'm moving furniture...it's too classic. Or the episode when Rachel is about to give birth and Ross keeps yelling at her. She tells him to shut up. Then he says, “Push,” and she head butts him. I laughed so long and hard at that one...I'm laughing even now about it. So during The Hangover, in the part I previously mentioned about the Asian guy getting out of the car hitting the guys with a crow bar. I not only laughed out loud. I laughed so long and hard, I couldn't stop laughing...and then I started thinking to myself, “Jessica, you're embarrassing yourself, you're laughing so hard.” The funny thing is, I'm laughing just thinking about the scene. That's when you know a movie is really funny! Habits are funny things too...when you think about how they came to be or how you don't even know how they came to be. Well, we all have them, nubbins or not. Sometimes you just have to laugh about them. Now, wouldn't that be a great habit....the habit of laughing too much. We all can use to have that as our habit : )
